My Part of The World: In Pictures

Here is a little look at my beautiful part of the world. There is nothing I love more than to go for walks in the late summer sun with Hendrix. Actually I think Autumn/Winter walks are my actual favourites so it's safe to say that I am looking forward to coming back home for a few days over the next three months just to walk in utter silence with but the birds, cows and sheep keeping me company as I look across the lush green landscape that we are so lucky to have here while being pulled in every direction possible, praying that my arm won't be ripped out of its socket, by Hendrix.

I know for a lot of people walking alone in the middle of nowhere is probably their idea of utter hell. I think we have horror films to thank for that one - thanks very (not so) much. However, I would find walking along a city street at night more scary. Saying that, I find most things scary so that doesn't really say much. Anywho, I digress. I have not really got anything profound to say in this blog post, I just wanted to show you some of the pictures I took while out on a walk earlier this week. So, I guess all that is left to say is - enjoy.

A VERY MIXED MIX TAPE

When faced with the question "what music are you into" my immediate response is rock/blues. It always has (except for the whole Sclub 7, Steps, Bewitched period) and most probably will always be my answer. I have been brought up in a house whose walls regularly vibrate with the sounds of AC/DC, Bruce Springsteen and B.B. King and have spent many a night queuing to go see the likes of U2, Jools Holland and the Manic Street Preachers.

However, if you looked at my Spotify playlists you would question my answer. Out of the gazillion playlists I follow or have created only a minority of them support my 'rock/blues' answer. My playlists range from the works of Jay-Z, Kanye West, Eminem and Dr. Dre to 90s classics from TLC, Will Smith, Nirvana and Shania Twain. Often a Blink 182 song is succeeded by Beyonce or the voice that is Tom Jones.

Even in my day to day interests I confuse myself. One second I could be totally engrossed in a rugby match and in a blink of an eye I'll find myself reading Bridget Jones' Diary all over again while listening to some Motörhead before settling down to read what's been going on in the world of international politics all while roaming Asos for a new dress or a nice pair of trousers.

I think this very random, questionable even, playlist that I have created for the blog today perfectly illustrates how maze-like my mind is. You never know what's round the corner up there. One morning  I'll wake up wanting to dress like Keith Richards the next I would do anything to wear the clothes of Cher from Clueless. I guess it makes my life interesting, ey!

HOW TO BE ALONE

I discovered this video while roaming twitter yesterday and thought it was pretty cool. Have a listen. 

STOP. BREATHE. RELAX: My attempt to stop worrying about life.

While writing the conclusion to my last exam of second year, summer seemed like a magical land. A land where I didn't have to get up at 6am, where I didn't have to sit at my desk all day staring at the blank, beige, terribly wallpapered wall that taunted me day-in-day-out. If I had to draw a picture of what summer looked to me while sat in the sports centre hall it might have included the odd unicorn prancing across a field and a few rainbow her and there. 

However, I seemed to have forgotten in that moment when I lost myself in my own thoughts that I in fact do terrible under a lack of routine. I started suffering from anxiety around four years ago. It started with the odd panic attack here and there but then it quickly developed into chronic anxiety that I just can't seem to shift. To be perfectly honest it's a hell of a pain in the arse. 

I text my friends and most of them are relaxing, watching television, reading, going on holidays and just loving summer as they most definitely should - God knows that we work damn hard at uni while we're there. Despite this, it seems as though my mind can't help itself but whizz around 24 hours a day seven days a week looking for ways to keep me busy and to just simply beat me up. By this I mean that sometimes my mind falls into a rather annoying place where all it can do is put me down - you're not smart enough, you need to be doing more, get your act together, you're way too fat. The last one is the one that gets me down the most. It really isn't the nicest place to be and it's just exhausting. 

Looking back, I definitely wasted my July away worrying about the most pointless things. That's the thing, at the time they most certainly do not seem like the most pointless things. In fact they seem like the most important things in the world. After my friend Ellie came to visit I made a promise to myself to just chill. Just stop. Just breathe. I have been getting a bit better. Hell, I even watched a whole film in two sittings the other day - that's a breakthrough. 

My constant need to 'do' something got a little crazy a few months ago when I found myself exercising everyday of the week (this went on for a few weeks/months). Not just a walk here or there but running 6-10 miles a few times a week, cycling and lifting weights. This wasn't the problem - I am used to working out a lot, the issue was the fact that I was not eating. I just felt sick all the time and for a few weeks I would only really eat porridge and watermelon which is not the best diet in the world. Despite this lack of eating I continued to exercise the same amount. Until last week that is. Last Friday evening I found myself lying on my bed feeling the worst that I had felt in a very long time with a wet cloth on my forehead just praying to feel better. 

Earlier in the day I ran 8 miles on a completely empty stomach and completely exhausted. When I arrived home I only ate some watermelon and a few slices of toast. I felt horrific. 

That was a turning point. That is when I told myself that things had to change. No more am I going to waste my days worrying about uncontrollable and totally ridiculous things. I mean, I probably will but I am going to work hard not to. No more am I going to exercise myself into exhaustion which I am still getting over. I am going to enjoy what remains of summer. I am going to (attempt) to stop bullying myself. Also I am going to try my hardest to lift this immense pressure that I put on myself and just go with the flow more. So what if I sit on the sofa all day watching The Mindy Project. So what if I get up at half 9 rather than 8am. It's the God Damn holidays! 

I think that people sometimes forget the pressures that are placed on young people these days and how that affects them. What I as a young person must remember is that the only thing you can do is your best and if that isn't good enough for some people then just move on - their not worth your time. I will soon be heading into my third and last year of university and by no means do I know what I want to do with my life but that is actually ok. You've just got to enjoy the ride because this is the only life you're going to have so you might as well just relax and be happy. 

TOO EASILY INFLUENCED

Different things bring different people comfort. Also, different things influence different people. Certain TV series have brought me unmeasurable comfort and have influenced my life probably a bit too much over the years.

The first TV series that really grabbed my every limb and pulled me right in was Gilmore Girls. I have watched every single episode of the seven series show at least three times, just ask my family! Even my dad is know familiar with Luke the diner owner,  Kirk the weird village handy man and he even became invested in the rocky relationship of Rory and Logan. I can't remember exactly when I came across the series and I certainly didn't watch it the first time round - I think I was 6 when it first aired in 2000. Wherever and whenever I discovered it I instantly pressed 'recored series' on the Sky+ remote and have never looked back.

Amy Sherman-Palladino and the rest of the series writers are incredible and managed to make me laugh and get super tense in almost every episode. I love comedy and I have a select few comedic actors that I think are insanely good. These include but are not limited to, Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy (who is Suki in GG by the way), Will Ferrel and Lorelai herself, Lauren Graham. Graham's comedic timing is brilliant and I think it was this that really got me interested in comedy and the writing side of it. I just think that comedians and comedy writers are the cleverest people in the world.

Rory has been a huge influence in my life - when I first started watching the show I basically just wanted to be her! Except for that time where she is seen reading Sylvia Plath on a bench - I REALLY do NOT like the works of Sylvia Plath. Depressing much? AM I RIGHTTTT?!!She certainly inspired me to work hard, get to a good university and become a journalist. Seeing Rory as Editor of the Yale daily news got me thinking about journalism and since then I have been gaining as much work experience as possible from different publications and TV channels. I know that the characters in Gilmore Girls are imaginary but I think what they stand for is real. I know I get too invested in made up people's lives but there is something about a comforting, amazing, intelligent TV show that just makes me so happy about life!

The Office is another series that I will always, always go back and watch again and again (the US version that is). It's strange but when exam season comes around, especially since I've been at university, I suddenly become invested in a variety of time consuming activities that will have a naught to zero percent positive effect on my exam results. The first two weeks of revision is fine, I get into it and all is well but by week three I will literally do anything to delay that dreaded time of day when I have to sit at a desk, read and re-read and re-read (you get the picture) pages and pages of notes, journals and books on the Tudor monarchy or the creation of Labour in post-war Britain. The first thing I do is turn to books and books that will most definitely not help me in my quest to graduate as a historian. In my first year of uni I read Miranda Hart's autobiography along with a gazillion other novels but not like in a "oh, I might read a few pages before going to bed" kind-of way but in a "I am a heroin addict, please inject me now or I will explode" kind of way.

This year, along with reading yet another tower of books which had nothing to do with my degree, I fell truly, madly, deeply in love with The Office. I watched all 9 seasons in just over a month. It was a way for me to forget about the five dreaded exams I would have to face and instead I would worry about when Jim would finally ask Pam out, if Dwight would ever face the facts and publicly announce his love for Angela and if Michael Scott's film Threat Level Midnight would ever be completed. The writing on the show is insanely good and so intelligently written that not only do I sit there invested in the lives of these wholly fictitious yet utterly relatable characters, I also sit in total awe of The Office's writing staff. My favourite ever scene from any TV show/movie ever made is from Stress Relief: Part 1  in Season 5 of the show. If you have never seen it just please youtube it.

While watching The Office I started to research the writers of the show to see whether they had written any other shows or written any books and this is when I discovered that Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak were both writers on the show. I LOVE a show when there's a 'will they, won't they' story line - I become instantly hooked and want to skip right to the episode when the two characters get together because the suspense is just a little too much. I seriously watched the whole second series of New Girl in 2 days because I had no patience and wanted to know what was going to happen between Nick and Jess after years of secretly being in love with each other. I digress. What I am getting at is that while flicking through the channels one evening I came across The Mindy Project I think it might have been the last episode of the first series and I instantly picked up on the fact that Danny really did not want Mindy to go to Haiti with Casey (bare in mind that I had no idea who these characters were at this point). Also, I thought the show was fun. You can probably guess what happened next - I traversed the internet looking for a way to watch the show and by this point the majority of the second series had come out in the US so I just went straight for the second series and loved it.

Part of the appeal of watching The Mindy Project is the fact that Mindy (Kaling) created, writes, produces, casts, edits (and everything else) her own show. Girl power to the max. I even bough her book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me and loved it so much that I have been borrowing the book to my friends and urging them to read it. I really like the fact that she says her advice to people who want to do what she does or who want to be successful in any line of work is to work your arse off at school/university. There are no shortcuts. Amen sista' (what, did I really just say that. Apparently I have turned all ghetto all of a sudden).

I recently bought the first season on DVD since I never really watched it in its entirety and have watched all 24 episodes in 3 days. Last night I found myself ordering the Bridget Jones' Diary trilogy from Amazon and re-watching You've Got Mail for the gazillionth time. I told you, I get really easily influenced by TV, Films and music.

While I type this I have a shopping cart on Amazon filled with Nora Ephron movie posters that I am going to order to put on my wall in my new house at university. Gosh TV you've done it again.

I have only included three shows in this post as I could go on forever and ever - I might come back to this post and add to it one day but for now I will leave you pondering whether I am sane and thinking "wow, this Lisiloo lady needs to get a life".

p.s.,  The answer to your questions are - I am not too sure if I am fully sane, I mean who is, am I right! Also, yes I probably do need to 'get a life' but you know what, who gives a crap, a girl needs her relaxation time and mine just happens to be watching comedy shows (and getting too easily influenced by them).

How to do a festival in comfort and warmth - a few festival tips.

I am by no means a festival expert and have only been to 5 music festivals but I do think that I have picked up a few tips on how to 'do' a festival along the way.

The First festival I ever went to was V Festival back in 2012. The day before my friend and I headed on the bus up to Shropshire we received our A-level results and so in the evening I went over to a friends house to celebrate which meant that we were a bit tired setting off - not a great start. It took us what felt like years to find somewhere to pitch our little two man tent. We finally decided on a little patch of grass close to the fence right by a burger fan - convenient, easy to spot and the first free patch of grass we saw after about 20 minutes of walking in wellingtons with massive backpacks on our backs. From Saturday morning to Sunday evening (baring one trip to a different tent to watch Tim Minchin) we stood by the main stage. No seats, no moving. A terrible idea. We did see some awesome bands though including The Killers, Noel Gallagher, Stone Roses and Madness but it was definitely not the best way to do a festival. By Sunday evening we were ready to pack up our tent and head home.

2013 I headed to V festival once more and this is when I decided that I am too old for V festival. Is swear that the average age for V fest goers is 14, it is crazy. Different to the previous year I went to this festival with four other friends and we all stayed in one big tent. Yes, 5 people in one 4 person tent. It was tough at times but it wasn't too bad and in the end I had good fun. I think if I was to go with a group of friends again, I would definitely take 2 tents or at least a bigger tent just so that we could have a little space and some room to breathe. Also, make sure that you head to a festival with proper friends, like really good friends where you can be yourself and tell them how you really feel etc because you've paid £200 to be there so you want to have the best time you can. If you want to go your separate ways do. I went to see Seasick Steve on my own while 2 of my friends stayed to watch one act and my 2 other friends went to a totally different stage. You don't have to stick together at all times, just agree on a meeting place and time and you'll be fine.

I also went to Reading in 2013 and despite a man falling on our tent in the middle of the night, a little bit of rain and some anxiety, it was all good and I really enjoyed it. Reading is much more of my kind of festival and even though there are a lot of young people, they are a different sort of young people to those you find in V fest. The general demographic is much older and the music is better.

This year's Reading I went with my mam and we stayed in a hotel. Yes, a hotel and it was the best thing ever. We woke up in a massive comfortable and warm bed, had a lovely shower, ate some Wagamamas or some hotel breakfast and at around 1/1.30pm we strolled down to the festival. We'd watch a few bands, have a sit down, watch the likes of Simon Amstell, Seann Walsh, Milton Jones and Bill Bailey in the Alternative tent and then made ourselves comfortable while waiting for the headliners to come on the MainStage. The best way to do it! We didn't have damp clothes, my back wasn't hurting and I didn't have constant anxiety that someone was going to fall on our tent or set the whole place on fire with a rogue fire. I know that you miss out on some banter with the other tenters (is that even a word?!) but I would much rather feel fresh and clean ready to conquer the day than fell like absolute shite after only managing 3 hours sleep and waking up in a damp tent.

Also since Reading 2013 I have learnt to relax at festivals. I used to think that you had to go go go and see as many acts as you possibly could but I have come to learn that it's a holiday and it should be as relaxing and fun as possible. So my mam and I, like I stated, would get down to the field at around half 1 then we'd see a few acts, open our deck chairs, watch a few more acts and just chilled. We also bought all of our food outside the festival, so we got our dinner from M&S everyday just because it was cheaper. There were a few Tescos and Sainsbury's about so if you are camping, make sure that you venture out of the camp in the morning to grab some food etc. We were staying in a hotel right near the centre of town and it only took us like 25/30 mins to get down to the arena. It's worth it and you'll save some money.

If you are camping remember to take a torch of some kind because the tent is dark when you get back after the headliners set finishes and you won't be able to find your clothes, food, toiletries etc without some sort of light. Put your clothes in plastic bags and then put them in your backpack, this will stop them from getting damp throughout your stay. Nobody wants damp/damp smelling clothes. Bring some snacks with you which will keep you going throughout the day - cereal bars etc. If you bring alcohol make sure that its in a plastic bottle/cans because they won't allow you in with glass bottles and I saw numerous people lose their 1 litre bottles of Vodka at the security gate. Sad times. Taking deck chairs is a great idea, even if you don't take them with you into the arena they are such good things to have outside your tent. My friend Nicola and I would sit for hours on our camping chairs outside the tent and we made so many new friends that way and loads of random conversations with drunk strangers. LEAVE YOUR IPHONE/SMARTPHONE at home. Bring an old school Nokia/brick phone because it won't be a big deal if you lose it and the battery will last the whole 4 nights so you won't need to pay an extortionate rate to charge it. Loads of baby wipes and hand sanitisers are a must. Try to bring as much cash as you think you'll need because taking money out at the arena is expensive as they charge you something like £2 to just take some of your own money out - where is the logic in that. If you do need to take money out go off site and look for a local garage/ATM. One last thing - a music festival is not a fashion show so take practical clothing such as coats and fleeces because it gets super cold when the sun goes down.

If I was to give one main piece of advice it would be to just chill and you'll have the best festival experience. You don't need to rush from one tent to another to watch everyone. Just grab a pint of cider, sit down and just enjoy the music and the atmosphere.

PURPLE RAIN

A week or so ago I headed to the hair dressers to put a purple toner through my hair. I had previously put a lilac toner through my locks and although I really loved the colour, after just one wash almost all of the colour had been washed out. Thus, I decided to go a dark purple in the hope that it would last longer - and it has!

For a long time I had been debating whether to dye my hair a different colour. Last year I played with the idea of dip dying my hair a pinky colour but alas  decided against it as a result of the fear of what people might think. However, whenever I roamed instagram and came across a purple haired cool girl I became incredibly and undeniably envious of her guts.

A few months ago I had an urge to cut my hair quite a bit and without thinking too much about it I just went for it with the mind frame of that it's only hair and it will grow back. With this in mind, after much toing and froing,  I decided that I was going to dye my hair purple - to hell with everyone! After all it is just hair and it will wash out. But the biggest thing that changed is my fear of stranger's opinions.

I still struggle quite a bit with what other people think of me but I am getting better. As someone said the other day, just because someone might think negative thoughts about you or the way you look does not mean that they are right. Although, I honestly think that I might be the only person who thinks these negative things about myself and I just convince myself that this is what others also think.

I guess my message is - if you want to do something or wear something then for goodness sake just do it. To hell with what people think. If you want to dye your hair the colours of the rainbow then do it (just check with school and parents first!).  Power to the people maaaaaaan!

THANKS TOM AND MEG

I love to read be that books, newspapers, magazines or blogs. I can find that sometimes I just get frustrated by TV and just want to sit down with a piece of paper in front of me, or a screen filled with words, with no distracting noise and just read. Over the summer I have been reading a lot for my dissertation work and random magazines but there is one blog that has caught my eye more than anything else.

Scarlett Curtis' blog (here) is one that gives you hope and makes you feel as though it's ok to feel how you feel and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You don't have to be suffering/recovering from depression like Curtis for the blog to help you in life. I experience anxiety in every aspect of my life and it can get a lot overwhelming and sometimes I find it hard to find something that just calms me down and allows me to relax. Although, I have been finding it a little bit easier after logging on to Scarlett's blog as she shares her experience and what she does to make herself feel better e.g. bake and watch films. 

What I think annoys me more than anything about anxiety is that it makes me frustrated and angry that I feel this way and then it turns into a vicious circle of frustration, anxiety and thus tiredness which just makes it all worse. It has been a long while since I sat down and watched a film from start to finish or even an hour of a TV programme as I feel guilty/lazy for sitting down while others are working. 

However, after reading Scarlett's post on her moving to New York and her list of films that sparked her love for the city I sat down and watched You've Got Mail. Granted I didn't watch it in one siting, I paused it to do some uni work etc, but gosh didn't it feel good to just chill for 2 hours and watch Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan fight over books in New York. The film is so comfy, it makes you feel comfortable and happy. I certainly understand why Scarlett watched it again and again. I mean, I just pressed the 'buy' button on iTunes so I can watch the film whenever and wherever. 

It's strange where you find comfort isn't it. Thank you Scarlett. Oh, and Tom and Meg.