DECEMBER BEAUTY FAVOURITES

Having been inspired by watching hours of Tanya Burr vlogs and YouTube videos over the christmas holidays I decided to create a list of my December beauty favourites. I have only included things that I have been using on an almost daily basis and things that I genuinely feel are worth recommending. It's quite a long list so I better get started.

Kiehl's Skin Rescuer Moisturiser

I bought this product after going into the Kiehl's store in Westfields, Stratford with my friend Katie on a revision break back in May. We went a bit crazy in there and spent a fare few pounds but it was definitely worth it. What's good about the Kiehl's store is that they give you a skin test right there and then and they then present you with a few products that suit your skin the most and you can pick which ones you want to buy, if you want to buy any that is. Having been through horrendous amounts of moisturisers searching for the perfect one to complement my skin, I have not had to try anymore after buying this one. You only need one small pump which is about the same size or even smaller than a pea and it gives you more than enough coverage meaning that the moisturiser lasts a very long time. I am about half way through mine and I've had it for seven months which is incredibly good. I apply mine every morning after cleansing my face and it provides a great base for my foundation. I can not recommend this product enough!

Kiehl's Midnight Recovery Concentrate

Another Kiehl's product, and one that makes my skin feel like silk. It's a lavender smelling serum that you put on just before going to bed and sleep with it on through the night. When you wake up your skin will feel like heaven; it is no wonder that it is one of their best selling products. Even though I bought it back in May I have only really been using it over the last month, I have no idea why but I am thankful that I rediscovered it recently and I imagine that it's going to be a staple in my evening routine for a long time to come.

YOU ARE NOT WEIRD

I often find myself confusing. I have felt this for a very, very long time. It would not be unusual for you to find me reading a book on fashion while watching the Simpsons in my sports kit. One day I could be listening and singing very loudly to some Justin Timberlake while the next you could find me head banging (not really, head banging just looks painful. Whiplash anyone?) to some heavy rock in the form of AC/DC or chilling to some Mozart. The same goes for fashion. Some mornings I wake up and feel like dressing smart and professional and throw on a fitted dress, tights and some boots. Other days I find myself walking to uni in boyfriend jeans, a band tee and a leather jacket or even just some gym clothes. It's quite tiring trying to keep up with myself!

I love watching comedy in any and every form. I even spend hours on youtube watching interviews with the comedians/writers/actors who are involved with some of my favourite shows and I even buy their books. This in turn as left me with quite a deep knowledge of, mostly American, comedy which 99.9% of my friends have no interest in (and to be honest why should they?) which means this is something that I get to enjoy by myself.

The same with sport. I have spent many weeks interning at different sports departments from the BBC to The Daily Telegraph. Throughout school and even now during university my whole week was basically taken over with either hockey, net-ball, rugby or going to the gym. Weekends are spent watching hours of sports coverage or reading about sport. However, most of my friends don't (and again why should they) have much interest in sport and that's totally fine, I still love 'em,  it just means that it's another thing that I get to keep to myself.

First Term Reflections

Last Wednesday was my last seminar of 2014 and the end of my first term as a third year. Third year is the year that everyone says is the hardest, the one where you will have no social life and will be working non-stop to the point where you begin to hate everything and everyone. However, my experience has been almost the opposite.

First term of second year was one of the most difficult times I have ever experienced. The amount of work we had to do was incredible in comparison to first year. We had at least one deadline a week for 11 weeks and along with playing sports and making time for friends it all got a bit  much. Third year however I feel as though I have found my groove. Don't get me wrong I still stress and panic occasionally over not necessarily the amount of work that I have to complete but more of the fact that the work counts for a hell of a lot more this time around.

Since the second term of second year (barring holidays such as Easter and Summer and the weekends) my alarm has been going off at 5:50am every single morning. I lived a very monotonous life of getting to the gym by 7am, staying in the library until around 5pm and then headed home to chill or go visit friends. However, a few weeks ago it all became way too much and I felt horrific as I was soooo tired and stressed so I decided to change things up a bit.

CARDIFF HALF MARATHON 5/10/14

A few weeks ago I packed my trainers and running vest and hopped on the train to Cardiff where I would be taking part in the 2014 half marathon.

If you would have told me a year ago that I would run 13.1 miles, all in one go, I would have laughed and quickly corrected your mistake at believing that I could run that far. In a moment of heightened confidence or boredom, I am not quite sure, I signed up to run the half marathon on behalf of the mental health charity MIND. I committed to this challenge amidst revising for my second year end of year exams. I think at that point anything sounded better than sitting at my desk all day attempting to memorise the histories of the Tudors, Stuarts and Victorians – even running a hell of a long way.

WALKING WORK BREAK

RESPECT // Monday Evening Ramblings.

Today I witnessed something that I well and truly despise. Something that I almost cannot even comprehend. Something that in an ideal world I should not have to comprehend.

In today's Nation of Islam seminar we discussed a variety of very interesting topics, so many in fact that the class overran by around two minutes. Yes, two minutes. An almost insignificant amount of time in the grand scheme of things. I mean, there are 1440 minutes in a day and 525949 in a year so two minutes out of that is not an extortionate amount. Well, that is what I thought. Upon bringing the discussion to a close a man walked in to the seminar room whom I can only assume to be a lecturer. With a smile on his face he preceded to patronise our lecturer, explaining to her how the concept of time works and at what time seminars start and finish. A fact that I am sure she has come to terms with in all the years she has worked at the institution. With a mixture of shock and discussed slapped across our faces we left the room and immediately began questioning who or what that man believed himself to be.

Since I can remember, barring teachers in primary school and the first few years of secondary school, I have never perceived anyone to be of more social importance than anyone else. Yes, your job title might read CEO or HRH the Queen of England but I would no more respect you than I would the man cleaning the street at 5am on a Sunday morning making sure all is spick 'n' span by the time the world awakes. All people must breath, eat, sleep and drink. Nobody is immune to illness and everyone must deal with heartbreak and enjoy happiness.

FINDING MY FEET

October signals the start of a new university year. A new house, new people, new lecturers, new goals, new deadlines, new timetable, new stresses, new laughs, new experiences. While the majority of these new things have entered my life without a polite please or a thank you, in what seems like a blur, they are all welcomed and I would not have it any other way.

SURFING CARCANS-PLAGE

55 mile cycle ride

A few months ago I entered myself and my dad in a 55 mile bike ride from Richmond to Windsor. Although after a few changes it was my brother who ended up accompanying me to the starting line at Richmond Green along with over 7,000 other cyclists. I have to say that I had not trained specifically for this bike ride at all and over the last 2 weeks I have hardly been able to do any form of exercise due to the fact that I currently have an infection. With this in mind, it wasn't the best mixture to complete a 55mile bike ride, but I did it :) Yaaaay. 

My Part of The World: In Pictures

Here is a little look at my beautiful part of the world. There is nothing I love more than to go for walks in the late summer sun with Hendrix. Actually I think Autumn/Winter walks are my actual favourites so it's safe to say that I am looking forward to coming back home for a few days over the next three months just to walk in utter silence with but the birds, cows and sheep keeping me company as I look across the lush green landscape that we are so lucky to have here while being pulled in every direction possible, praying that my arm won't be ripped out of its socket, by Hendrix.

I know for a lot of people walking alone in the middle of nowhere is probably their idea of utter hell. I think we have horror films to thank for that one - thanks very (not so) much. However, I would find walking along a city street at night more scary. Saying that, I find most things scary so that doesn't really say much. Anywho, I digress. I have not really got anything profound to say in this blog post, I just wanted to show you some of the pictures I took while out on a walk earlier this week. So, I guess all that is left to say is - enjoy.

A VERY MIXED MIX TAPE

When faced with the question "what music are you into" my immediate response is rock/blues. It always has (except for the whole Sclub 7, Steps, Bewitched period) and most probably will always be my answer. I have been brought up in a house whose walls regularly vibrate with the sounds of AC/DC, Bruce Springsteen and B.B. King and have spent many a night queuing to go see the likes of U2, Jools Holland and the Manic Street Preachers.

However, if you looked at my Spotify playlists you would question my answer. Out of the gazillion playlists I follow or have created only a minority of them support my 'rock/blues' answer. My playlists range from the works of Jay-Z, Kanye West, Eminem and Dr. Dre to 90s classics from TLC, Will Smith, Nirvana and Shania Twain. Often a Blink 182 song is succeeded by Beyonce or the voice that is Tom Jones.

Even in my day to day interests I confuse myself. One second I could be totally engrossed in a rugby match and in a blink of an eye I'll find myself reading Bridget Jones' Diary all over again while listening to some Motörhead before settling down to read what's been going on in the world of international politics all while roaming Asos for a new dress or a nice pair of trousers.

I think this very random, questionable even, playlist that I have created for the blog today perfectly illustrates how maze-like my mind is. You never know what's round the corner up there. One morning  I'll wake up wanting to dress like Keith Richards the next I would do anything to wear the clothes of Cher from Clueless. I guess it makes my life interesting, ey!

HOW TO BE ALONE

I discovered this video while roaming twitter yesterday and thought it was pretty cool. Have a listen. 

STOP. BREATHE. RELAX: My attempt to stop worrying about life.

While writing the conclusion to my last exam of second year, summer seemed like a magical land. A land where I didn't have to get up at 6am, where I didn't have to sit at my desk all day staring at the blank, beige, terribly wallpapered wall that taunted me day-in-day-out. If I had to draw a picture of what summer looked to me while sat in the sports centre hall it might have included the odd unicorn prancing across a field and a few rainbow her and there. 

However, I seemed to have forgotten in that moment when I lost myself in my own thoughts that I in fact do terrible under a lack of routine. I started suffering from anxiety around four years ago. It started with the odd panic attack here and there but then it quickly developed into chronic anxiety that I just can't seem to shift. To be perfectly honest it's a hell of a pain in the arse. 

I text my friends and most of them are relaxing, watching television, reading, going on holidays and just loving summer as they most definitely should - God knows that we work damn hard at uni while we're there. Despite this, it seems as though my mind can't help itself but whizz around 24 hours a day seven days a week looking for ways to keep me busy and to just simply beat me up. By this I mean that sometimes my mind falls into a rather annoying place where all it can do is put me down - you're not smart enough, you need to be doing more, get your act together, you're way too fat. The last one is the one that gets me down the most. It really isn't the nicest place to be and it's just exhausting. 

Looking back, I definitely wasted my July away worrying about the most pointless things. That's the thing, at the time they most certainly do not seem like the most pointless things. In fact they seem like the most important things in the world. After my friend Ellie came to visit I made a promise to myself to just chill. Just stop. Just breathe. I have been getting a bit better. Hell, I even watched a whole film in two sittings the other day - that's a breakthrough. 

My constant need to 'do' something got a little crazy a few months ago when I found myself exercising everyday of the week (this went on for a few weeks/months). Not just a walk here or there but running 6-10 miles a few times a week, cycling and lifting weights. This wasn't the problem - I am used to working out a lot, the issue was the fact that I was not eating. I just felt sick all the time and for a few weeks I would only really eat porridge and watermelon which is not the best diet in the world. Despite this lack of eating I continued to exercise the same amount. Until last week that is. Last Friday evening I found myself lying on my bed feeling the worst that I had felt in a very long time with a wet cloth on my forehead just praying to feel better. 

Earlier in the day I ran 8 miles on a completely empty stomach and completely exhausted. When I arrived home I only ate some watermelon and a few slices of toast. I felt horrific. 

That was a turning point. That is when I told myself that things had to change. No more am I going to waste my days worrying about uncontrollable and totally ridiculous things. I mean, I probably will but I am going to work hard not to. No more am I going to exercise myself into exhaustion which I am still getting over. I am going to enjoy what remains of summer. I am going to (attempt) to stop bullying myself. Also I am going to try my hardest to lift this immense pressure that I put on myself and just go with the flow more. So what if I sit on the sofa all day watching The Mindy Project. So what if I get up at half 9 rather than 8am. It's the God Damn holidays! 

I think that people sometimes forget the pressures that are placed on young people these days and how that affects them. What I as a young person must remember is that the only thing you can do is your best and if that isn't good enough for some people then just move on - their not worth your time. I will soon be heading into my third and last year of university and by no means do I know what I want to do with my life but that is actually ok. You've just got to enjoy the ride because this is the only life you're going to have so you might as well just relax and be happy. 

TOO EASILY INFLUENCED

Different things bring different people comfort. Also, different things influence different people. Certain TV series have brought me unmeasurable comfort and have influenced my life probably a bit too much over the years.

The first TV series that really grabbed my every limb and pulled me right in was Gilmore Girls. I have watched every single episode of the seven series show at least three times, just ask my family! Even my dad is know familiar with Luke the diner owner,  Kirk the weird village handy man and he even became invested in the rocky relationship of Rory and Logan. I can't remember exactly when I came across the series and I certainly didn't watch it the first time round - I think I was 6 when it first aired in 2000. Wherever and whenever I discovered it I instantly pressed 'recored series' on the Sky+ remote and have never looked back.

Amy Sherman-Palladino and the rest of the series writers are incredible and managed to make me laugh and get super tense in almost every episode. I love comedy and I have a select few comedic actors that I think are insanely good. These include but are not limited to, Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy (who is Suki in GG by the way), Will Ferrel and Lorelai herself, Lauren Graham. Graham's comedic timing is brilliant and I think it was this that really got me interested in comedy and the writing side of it. I just think that comedians and comedy writers are the cleverest people in the world.

Rory has been a huge influence in my life - when I first started watching the show I basically just wanted to be her! Except for that time where she is seen reading Sylvia Plath on a bench - I REALLY do NOT like the works of Sylvia Plath. Depressing much? AM I RIGHTTTT?!!She certainly inspired me to work hard, get to a good university and become a journalist. Seeing Rory as Editor of the Yale daily news got me thinking about journalism and since then I have been gaining as much work experience as possible from different publications and TV channels. I know that the characters in Gilmore Girls are imaginary but I think what they stand for is real. I know I get too invested in made up people's lives but there is something about a comforting, amazing, intelligent TV show that just makes me so happy about life!

The Office is another series that I will always, always go back and watch again and again (the US version that is). It's strange but when exam season comes around, especially since I've been at university, I suddenly become invested in a variety of time consuming activities that will have a naught to zero percent positive effect on my exam results. The first two weeks of revision is fine, I get into it and all is well but by week three I will literally do anything to delay that dreaded time of day when I have to sit at a desk, read and re-read and re-read (you get the picture) pages and pages of notes, journals and books on the Tudor monarchy or the creation of Labour in post-war Britain. The first thing I do is turn to books and books that will most definitely not help me in my quest to graduate as a historian. In my first year of uni I read Miranda Hart's autobiography along with a gazillion other novels but not like in a "oh, I might read a few pages before going to bed" kind-of way but in a "I am a heroin addict, please inject me now or I will explode" kind of way.

This year, along with reading yet another tower of books which had nothing to do with my degree, I fell truly, madly, deeply in love with The Office. I watched all 9 seasons in just over a month. It was a way for me to forget about the five dreaded exams I would have to face and instead I would worry about when Jim would finally ask Pam out, if Dwight would ever face the facts and publicly announce his love for Angela and if Michael Scott's film Threat Level Midnight would ever be completed. The writing on the show is insanely good and so intelligently written that not only do I sit there invested in the lives of these wholly fictitious yet utterly relatable characters, I also sit in total awe of The Office's writing staff. My favourite ever scene from any TV show/movie ever made is from Stress Relief: Part 1  in Season 5 of the show. If you have never seen it just please youtube it.

While watching The Office I started to research the writers of the show to see whether they had written any other shows or written any books and this is when I discovered that Mindy Kaling and B.J. Novak were both writers on the show. I LOVE a show when there's a 'will they, won't they' story line - I become instantly hooked and want to skip right to the episode when the two characters get together because the suspense is just a little too much. I seriously watched the whole second series of New Girl in 2 days because I had no patience and wanted to know what was going to happen between Nick and Jess after years of secretly being in love with each other. I digress. What I am getting at is that while flicking through the channels one evening I came across The Mindy Project I think it might have been the last episode of the first series and I instantly picked up on the fact that Danny really did not want Mindy to go to Haiti with Casey (bare in mind that I had no idea who these characters were at this point). Also, I thought the show was fun. You can probably guess what happened next - I traversed the internet looking for a way to watch the show and by this point the majority of the second series had come out in the US so I just went straight for the second series and loved it.

Part of the appeal of watching The Mindy Project is the fact that Mindy (Kaling) created, writes, produces, casts, edits (and everything else) her own show. Girl power to the max. I even bough her book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me and loved it so much that I have been borrowing the book to my friends and urging them to read it. I really like the fact that she says her advice to people who want to do what she does or who want to be successful in any line of work is to work your arse off at school/university. There are no shortcuts. Amen sista' (what, did I really just say that. Apparently I have turned all ghetto all of a sudden).

I recently bought the first season on DVD since I never really watched it in its entirety and have watched all 24 episodes in 3 days. Last night I found myself ordering the Bridget Jones' Diary trilogy from Amazon and re-watching You've Got Mail for the gazillionth time. I told you, I get really easily influenced by TV, Films and music.

While I type this I have a shopping cart on Amazon filled with Nora Ephron movie posters that I am going to order to put on my wall in my new house at university. Gosh TV you've done it again.

I have only included three shows in this post as I could go on forever and ever - I might come back to this post and add to it one day but for now I will leave you pondering whether I am sane and thinking "wow, this Lisiloo lady needs to get a life".

p.s.,  The answer to your questions are - I am not too sure if I am fully sane, I mean who is, am I right! Also, yes I probably do need to 'get a life' but you know what, who gives a crap, a girl needs her relaxation time and mine just happens to be watching comedy shows (and getting too easily influenced by them).

How to do a festival in comfort and warmth - a few festival tips.

I am by no means a festival expert and have only been to 5 music festivals but I do think that I have picked up a few tips on how to 'do' a festival along the way.

The First festival I ever went to was V Festival back in 2012. The day before my friend and I headed on the bus up to Shropshire we received our A-level results and so in the evening I went over to a friends house to celebrate which meant that we were a bit tired setting off - not a great start. It took us what felt like years to find somewhere to pitch our little two man tent. We finally decided on a little patch of grass close to the fence right by a burger fan - convenient, easy to spot and the first free patch of grass we saw after about 20 minutes of walking in wellingtons with massive backpacks on our backs. From Saturday morning to Sunday evening (baring one trip to a different tent to watch Tim Minchin) we stood by the main stage. No seats, no moving. A terrible idea. We did see some awesome bands though including The Killers, Noel Gallagher, Stone Roses and Madness but it was definitely not the best way to do a festival. By Sunday evening we were ready to pack up our tent and head home.

2013 I headed to V festival once more and this is when I decided that I am too old for V festival. Is swear that the average age for V fest goers is 14, it is crazy. Different to the previous year I went to this festival with four other friends and we all stayed in one big tent. Yes, 5 people in one 4 person tent. It was tough at times but it wasn't too bad and in the end I had good fun. I think if I was to go with a group of friends again, I would definitely take 2 tents or at least a bigger tent just so that we could have a little space and some room to breathe. Also, make sure that you head to a festival with proper friends, like really good friends where you can be yourself and tell them how you really feel etc because you've paid £200 to be there so you want to have the best time you can. If you want to go your separate ways do. I went to see Seasick Steve on my own while 2 of my friends stayed to watch one act and my 2 other friends went to a totally different stage. You don't have to stick together at all times, just agree on a meeting place and time and you'll be fine.

I also went to Reading in 2013 and despite a man falling on our tent in the middle of the night, a little bit of rain and some anxiety, it was all good and I really enjoyed it. Reading is much more of my kind of festival and even though there are a lot of young people, they are a different sort of young people to those you find in V fest. The general demographic is much older and the music is better.

This year's Reading I went with my mam and we stayed in a hotel. Yes, a hotel and it was the best thing ever. We woke up in a massive comfortable and warm bed, had a lovely shower, ate some Wagamamas or some hotel breakfast and at around 1/1.30pm we strolled down to the festival. We'd watch a few bands, have a sit down, watch the likes of Simon Amstell, Seann Walsh, Milton Jones and Bill Bailey in the Alternative tent and then made ourselves comfortable while waiting for the headliners to come on the MainStage. The best way to do it! We didn't have damp clothes, my back wasn't hurting and I didn't have constant anxiety that someone was going to fall on our tent or set the whole place on fire with a rogue fire. I know that you miss out on some banter with the other tenters (is that even a word?!) but I would much rather feel fresh and clean ready to conquer the day than fell like absolute shite after only managing 3 hours sleep and waking up in a damp tent.

Also since Reading 2013 I have learnt to relax at festivals. I used to think that you had to go go go and see as many acts as you possibly could but I have come to learn that it's a holiday and it should be as relaxing and fun as possible. So my mam and I, like I stated, would get down to the field at around half 1 then we'd see a few acts, open our deck chairs, watch a few more acts and just chilled. We also bought all of our food outside the festival, so we got our dinner from M&S everyday just because it was cheaper. There were a few Tescos and Sainsbury's about so if you are camping, make sure that you venture out of the camp in the morning to grab some food etc. We were staying in a hotel right near the centre of town and it only took us like 25/30 mins to get down to the arena. It's worth it and you'll save some money.

If you are camping remember to take a torch of some kind because the tent is dark when you get back after the headliners set finishes and you won't be able to find your clothes, food, toiletries etc without some sort of light. Put your clothes in plastic bags and then put them in your backpack, this will stop them from getting damp throughout your stay. Nobody wants damp/damp smelling clothes. Bring some snacks with you which will keep you going throughout the day - cereal bars etc. If you bring alcohol make sure that its in a plastic bottle/cans because they won't allow you in with glass bottles and I saw numerous people lose their 1 litre bottles of Vodka at the security gate. Sad times. Taking deck chairs is a great idea, even if you don't take them with you into the arena they are such good things to have outside your tent. My friend Nicola and I would sit for hours on our camping chairs outside the tent and we made so many new friends that way and loads of random conversations with drunk strangers. LEAVE YOUR IPHONE/SMARTPHONE at home. Bring an old school Nokia/brick phone because it won't be a big deal if you lose it and the battery will last the whole 4 nights so you won't need to pay an extortionate rate to charge it. Loads of baby wipes and hand sanitisers are a must. Try to bring as much cash as you think you'll need because taking money out at the arena is expensive as they charge you something like £2 to just take some of your own money out - where is the logic in that. If you do need to take money out go off site and look for a local garage/ATM. One last thing - a music festival is not a fashion show so take practical clothing such as coats and fleeces because it gets super cold when the sun goes down.

If I was to give one main piece of advice it would be to just chill and you'll have the best festival experience. You don't need to rush from one tent to another to watch everyone. Just grab a pint of cider, sit down and just enjoy the music and the atmosphere.

PURPLE RAIN

A week or so ago I headed to the hair dressers to put a purple toner through my hair. I had previously put a lilac toner through my locks and although I really loved the colour, after just one wash almost all of the colour had been washed out. Thus, I decided to go a dark purple in the hope that it would last longer - and it has!

For a long time I had been debating whether to dye my hair a different colour. Last year I played with the idea of dip dying my hair a pinky colour but alas  decided against it as a result of the fear of what people might think. However, whenever I roamed instagram and came across a purple haired cool girl I became incredibly and undeniably envious of her guts.

A few months ago I had an urge to cut my hair quite a bit and without thinking too much about it I just went for it with the mind frame of that it's only hair and it will grow back. With this in mind, after much toing and froing,  I decided that I was going to dye my hair purple - to hell with everyone! After all it is just hair and it will wash out. But the biggest thing that changed is my fear of stranger's opinions.

I still struggle quite a bit with what other people think of me but I am getting better. As someone said the other day, just because someone might think negative thoughts about you or the way you look does not mean that they are right. Although, I honestly think that I might be the only person who thinks these negative things about myself and I just convince myself that this is what others also think.

I guess my message is - if you want to do something or wear something then for goodness sake just do it. To hell with what people think. If you want to dye your hair the colours of the rainbow then do it (just check with school and parents first!).  Power to the people maaaaaaan!

THANKS TOM AND MEG

I love to read be that books, newspapers, magazines or blogs. I can find that sometimes I just get frustrated by TV and just want to sit down with a piece of paper in front of me, or a screen filled with words, with no distracting noise and just read. Over the summer I have been reading a lot for my dissertation work and random magazines but there is one blog that has caught my eye more than anything else.

Scarlett Curtis' blog (here) is one that gives you hope and makes you feel as though it's ok to feel how you feel and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You don't have to be suffering/recovering from depression like Curtis for the blog to help you in life. I experience anxiety in every aspect of my life and it can get a lot overwhelming and sometimes I find it hard to find something that just calms me down and allows me to relax. Although, I have been finding it a little bit easier after logging on to Scarlett's blog as she shares her experience and what she does to make herself feel better e.g. bake and watch films. 

What I think annoys me more than anything about anxiety is that it makes me frustrated and angry that I feel this way and then it turns into a vicious circle of frustration, anxiety and thus tiredness which just makes it all worse. It has been a long while since I sat down and watched a film from start to finish or even an hour of a TV programme as I feel guilty/lazy for sitting down while others are working. 

However, after reading Scarlett's post on her moving to New York and her list of films that sparked her love for the city I sat down and watched You've Got Mail. Granted I didn't watch it in one siting, I paused it to do some uni work etc, but gosh didn't it feel good to just chill for 2 hours and watch Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan fight over books in New York. The film is so comfy, it makes you feel comfortable and happy. I certainly understand why Scarlett watched it again and again. I mean, I just pressed the 'buy' button on iTunes so I can watch the film whenever and wherever. 

It's strange where you find comfort isn't it. Thank you Scarlett. Oh, and Tom and Meg. 

WEST WALES ADVENTURE WITH ELLIE

A few weeks ago my friend Ellie from university came over to my part of the world for a few days. I hadn't seen her for a month or so thus it was super nice to have a little catch up. From Monday afternoon 'till Thursday morning we traversed West Wales from Carmarthen to Aberystwyth and from Mwnt to Aberaeron.

I know I live in the middle of nowhere and I think Ellie was a bit shocked at how in the middle of nowhere I do actually live but we do have some amazing views on the coastline and this is basically what I showed her.

Monday
Ellie didn't arrive 'till around lunch time on Monday so once I picked her up from Carmarthen train station and we went and had lunch at Pethau Da which is located in Pethau Bychain  on King St. After a lovely meal we perused some shops, drank some coffee and then hopped over to the beautiful Llansteffan. We decided to climb up to Llansteffan Castle just to see the incredible views that looked out towards the horizon. A great way to end a Monday!

Tuesday
A trip to Mwnt was on today's agenda and boy was I happy about that. Mwnt is my favourite place in the whole wide world. It has an awesome little beach hidden away between massive cliffs which not too many people know about, except for the locals and a few tourists. On top of the cliffs, overlooking the beach and the sea is the most beautiful church you ever did see and if I ever marry, this is where I want the ceremony to take place. Before Ellie and I headed down to the beach where we would later eat lunch, read and have a bit of a sleep (ok, that was just me), we climbed the little mountain that is near the church and sat at its summit watching the dolphins and attempting to see the coast of Ireland.

On the way home we stopped off in Aberaeron where we went for a little walk, bought some chips and ate them on the harbour wall. Scrumdiddlyumptious.

Wednesday
Today we headed north to Aberystwyth, a nice seaside town where my brother goes to uni and where thousands of tourists flock to in the summer to smell some fresh sea air. We arrived in the town at around lunchtime so after buying a few things on our little shopping date we finally downed tools and ate some beautiful sandwiches at Agnelli's. My brother is in the middle of writing his Masters dissertation so he spends most days up in the National Library of Wales in Aberystwyth so myself and Ellie went up to visit the Library. It had a really cool Dylan Thomas exhibition which I loved. Once we had finished looking at all the exhibitions we went and had a coffee in the Library's caffe.

Thursday
As Ellie was heading home in the early afternoon I had planned to spend the day outside walking with Hendrix but alas the Welsh weather got the better of us and with rain pouring outside we gave the walking a miss and started our journey back down to Carmarthen where we had a nice little coffee before Ellie was on her way back to Somerset.

I really enjoyed my few days travelling West Wales with Ellie. I am just continuously baffled by the beauty that surrounds my home and I am happy that I got to show off my little corner of the world to Ellie!

Girl Power #1

Since becoming older and becoming more aware of what's going on in the world, especially since going to university, I have noticed that so many girls/women don't believe that they can do what the boys do. I don't only mean in terms of business and work but also in terms of sports etc. Growing up I was never exposed to this idea that girls shouldn't be playing football, rolling in the mud or building dens in the forest. Never had anyone told me that I should wear dresses or play with Barbies and thank God for that because as a child those were the two things I detested the most. Instead my mam would dress me in leopard print leggings, doc martens and my brother's old clothes while I played outside all day with my brother and his friends. I remember spending days and days playing football, rugby, cricket and our own DIY versions of hurling and gallic football and just thinking that this was what every girl did. This belief was probably made stronger by the fact that most of my girl friends at that time were similar to me in that we would all go mountain biking or swim in the river. Best time ever!

Even in secondary school, especially with my close friends, the topic of not doing the same as the boys never came up. Myself and Carwen played rugby and would regularly play with the boys, there was never that conversation of 'is it really our place to play?'. University is where I saw how limiting believing that you shouldn't do what the boys are doing is for the first time. In mixed Lacrosse training girls would be scared to go and tackle the boys or they would giggle and have hardly any confidence in their own abilities when the male sex were within a 100 meter radius which, baffled me to say the least. Even when it comes to lifting weights in the gym I would see girls peering over as if they wished to be able to step into the weights area. 99% of mornings when I hit the gym I would be the only girl in the weights room and it's not something I really thought about until some of my friends were asking if they could join me and lift some weights - a question that made me very confused. Of course they could, there is not a sign in the area that reads 'only boys aloud'. There is no such sign in the majority of society so why then do girls feel like they can't do what the boys can do?

Actually, thinking about it, I really don't think that they don't believe in themselves I genuinely believe that they are just conforming to a social construct that separates what boys should do/wear and what girls should do/wear. A load of bull if you ask me. Maybe it's a result of growing up with strong female figures in my life who do what they want to do and don't let anyone stop them. My grandmother and my mam were the ones that went to watch the rugby every friday night while my dad and granddad would stay at home. Thus, this whole constricting gender ideal is something that I thankfully was not exposed to when I was younger and I truly hope that in the future every girl and boy can choose what they want to do without being told that that's not what they should be doing. 

Here's a video I watched last night which sparked the idea for this post. It's a Ted talk by gnarly female skater Cindy Whitehead who I absolutely look up to and I think you should have a listen to what she has to say. 

SUMMER PLANS & STUDENT WORRIES

My Italy posts will be up as soon as possible. While in Venice we endured a day of torrential rain, so much rain in fact that it broke my camera thus I now have to wait for my friends to sort out their pictures and send them to me before I can actually get to posting them. Ohh the joys of rain and not so waterproof coats! 

After an awesome 2 (very hot) weeks travelling around northern Italy I am home for summer for a few weeks before I am off once more back down to Windsor/Egham with my family for a few days, Reading festival and then to the South of France to surf :D All of these things I am really excited for.

However, I am home and despite sending a gazzilion e-mails searching for work experience I have heard nothing thus far although I only sent some off recently so their is still some hope. Sometimes, actually most of the time, I feel really guilty for not having anything planned in terms of work/experience over the summer but to be honest, neither have my friends. I feel as though I should be doing something productive which will benefit me in the future. Despite this feeling, being at uni is incredibly stressful and tiring. Throughout first and second term which lasts from September to the end of March I had an essay a week to complete as well as seminar work and readings. Even through christmas holidays I was tapping away at my laptop writing essays while all my other friends from home were chilling and enjoying the break. I am not complaining because I love to learn and I like (although not always) being at a hard university because I really think (hope) that it will benefit me in the future but it does sometimes get a bit much.

I can not sit and do nothing and I think this is my biggest downfall. My friend Ruth was amazed by the questions I would randomly ask while we'd just be sitting in a cafe somewhere in Italy. She would say to me "Lisa, you think way too much in depth about everything. Just stop thinking for a bit". When I look into the sky I immediately think about space and planets and where does it all end - does the blackness just go on forever, surly it has to stop somewhere. Even while typing this my mind has drifted into attempting to figure out the unknown.

It's because of this relentless mind spinning that I have been throwing myself into reading a lot over the last week or so while also exercising everyday and working on my fitness blog - theimportanceofbeingstrong.wordpress.com . Working on this blog is something that I am really into at the moment and I hope that it will grow into something bigger in the next month or so. So really I am getting work experience, the experience of writing on a daily basis (with Lisi Loo and Importance of Being Strong) it's just that I am working for myself rather than a magazine or newspaper. Over the next few weeks I have also got to start reading and planning for my final year dissertation which is a bit scary but that's all I can do is my best and if that isn't good enough then I can't do much more than that.

So here's to relaxing, writing, working, exercising and enjoying summer.

BACK FROM ITALY & 21 MILE WALK

I'm back from Italia and back on the grind. I have a few posts to catch up on!

On the 22 of June I walked, along with 8 other people, 21 miles from Carmarthen to a town called Pwll just outside of Llanelli in West Wales. It was all in the name of the National Eisteddfod that is arriving in Llanelli in August.

We set off just after 8am with everyone, especially me, still wearing their rather puffy and confused morning faces. The first three miles flew by as we walked through the centre of town and after a short bus ride across the dual carriage way (it was too unsafe to walk) we joined the Welsh coastal path which follows the whole cost of the country from its most northern point to its most southernly, its most West to its most East and everywhere in between. With great views entertaining us from Ferryside to Kidwely we quickly stopped so more walkers could join us. By now we were at around mile 10/11 and everything was going to plan. My legs felt fine and mentally I wasn't bored - I felt good. 

The 6 miles from Kildwely to Pembrey that were to follow were the hardest few miles of the day. Not only was the sun beaming down on us making us feel as though we were being roasted in preparation for Sunday lunch the next day but it was 6 miles of monotonous trees, long roads and uneven gravelled country tracks. We passed fields of cows and bulls with no fence to protect us and a horse fly decided to sting me on my wrist which almost immediately blew up to twice its size. 

Eventually we arrived at Pembrey where we sat on the grass to eat our lunch and having refuelled, rubbed antihistamine cream into my sting and placed blister plasters under my food I was ready to hit the road once more. The last few miles from Pembrey to Pwll were beautiful with the sun soaked sea keeping us company the whole way. With a mile or so to go my legs began to get very heavy and tiredness kicked in. I'm not sure if this tiredness was a result of walking for eight hours or if it was a result of walking 8 hours under the incredibly hot sun. Either way we were all getting very tired. 

The next day (Sunday) I was off to Italy for 2 weeks and I really wasn't that sore. The only things that were bothering me were my swollen and rather painful ankles. I really need some properly fitted trainers because running is becoming quite painful now. That is on the top of my to-do list - get properly fitted trainers to prevent injury!

RIVAL SONS [SCALA, LONDON 9/6/14]

Last Monday my friend Katie and I headed over to Scala at Kings Cross, London to watch one of my favourite bands, Rival Sons and it was one of the best gigs I have ever been to. Just incredible.

I first heard the band play on Dermot O'Leary's BBC Radio 2 show last April and I was instantly hooked. Jay Buchanan's voice is just magnificent and if you haven't listened to any of their stuff please do. For the last year I had been playing their stuff non-stop on Spotify and I had bought a few of their CD's. Basically my music listening was taken over my this band from LA so when I saw that they were playing down the road in London there was not two ways about it, I was going.

Scala is a great venue as it's so intimate which makes for an electrifying atmosphere. Jameson opened the show as the Rival Sons' support act and he was great. As well as being devilishly handsome his bluesy guitar playing and raspy vocals worked together flawlessly and I would honestly pay to go see him headline his own gig - so good!

The band opened with five songs from their newest album, Great Western Valkyrie. The first being the unmistakable Electric Man which was accompanied buy some awesome guitar playing from Scott Holiday. From the get-go the crowd was head banging, shouting and dancing. After every song the applause was almost deafening. Good Luck, Secret, Play the Fool and Good Things followed before an amazing rendition of my personal favourite, Jordan, from their 2012 album Head Down. It was spine tingling stuff.

With the high tempo Gypsy Heart and the newest single Open My Eyes the crowd was sent home with an amazing and equally emotional rendition of Face of Light. 

Wow. When we walked out of the gig towards the tube we couldn't believe what we had just witnessed. Two weeks before, both of us were at Finsbury Park for the Arctic Monkeys gig and I can honestly say that the Rival Sons gig was better. Controversial? Maybe. Truthful? Definitely.