Women In Business: the internet is awesome

The internet gets a lot of bad rap.

Regularly we seem to forget how it has truly revolutionised the way we consume; the way we work; how we spend our leisure time; how we communicate; how we live. Yes, a lot of the negativity surrounding the internet is truly just. The internet has given way to another medium to bully, umpteen new ways to commit crime, and another way to steel our time. I mean, how many of you have been in the middle of a conversation with someone and suddenly they take out their phone and start to read a Facebook message or reply to a tweet - that's just rude and makes my blood boil. To some, the internet has become corrosive. However, to most the internet is awesome and has undoubtably been a revolutionary tool - especially for women.

Many of us have heard the fact that there are currently fewer large companies run by women than by men named John. This is crazy and a fact that obviously needs to change but it's still incredibly difficult for women to be taken seriously in the higher ranks of big business. However, the internet is beginning to change this. Well, maybe not in the realms of big business as much but rather in the business in general.

Through blogs and video blogs (vlogs) and Etsy and Ebay women have an enormous platform to create their own businesses. Only a few years ago blogs and vlogs were almost non-existent or they were dismissed as something unimportant, just another internet fad. But my gosh how have blogs and vlogs exploded into our daily culture. They are now a staple of everyday life for many internet users across the globe. What shall I cook for dinner this evening? What shall I wear today? What book should I buy next? I need some new make-up, what should I get? I need some financial advice, where can I get a few tips on saving? I'm thinking of starting a new business but don't know where to start? I want to get fit, where can I find some information about health and fitness? All of these questions can be answered by reading or watching one blog or another. It is amazing. It's like having millions of magazines at your fingertips but they are all FREE. I mean, you don't get anything for free these days!

Many of the women writing and producing these blogs have created extremely successful businesses out of what started as a hobby they enjoyed in their spare time at home. Now, people like fashion, beauty and cultural blogger Leandra Medine of Man Repeller has turned what was once simply a blog into a fashion business with numerous employees, clothing collaborations and recognition from some of the businesses most respected figures. Also, she is frickin' funny. Ella Gregory of Coco's Tea Party blogs full time and works with brands such as Boden and Ralph Lauren to name just a few.

Vloggers like Tanya Burr and Zoe Sugg have transformed what was simply them just making a few videos in their bedrooms to now running multi million pound businesses including multiple book deals, beauty ranges, brand deals with some of the biggest companies in the world, national fashion magazine covers ... the list goes on and on.

Writers like the wonderful Emma Gannon of Girl Lost In The City and Laura Jane Williams of Superlatively Rude have landed book deals after people recognising their writing ability and the stories they have to tell through reading their incredible blogs. Not only has the internet allowed for the women in front of the camera to create successful careers but women have been rocking it behind the camera too. The likes of Charly Cox of Style The Natives is a writer, producer, blogger and digital consultant who has worked with the likes of Burberry, Russell Brand and Youtubers such as Jack's Gap and Casper Lee. The internet has created these opportunities for women to excel on their own terms; it is allowing women to create; is is allowing women to achieve; it is allowing women to rule.

There is such a wealth of talented women in the world (obviously, duh.) and blogs provide many with a platform that they might not otherwise have. Through blogs, twitter, YouTube, Instagram and Facebook people's work can reach thousands if not millions in a matter of minutes. Businesses can be created with little initial monetary investment but with a hell of a lot of hard-work. Women are creating so many new and successful businesses from the comfort of their own home where they might not have had the chance to do without blogs and vlogs and online selling platforms like eBay and etsy.

The internet is awesome.

It's CHRISTMAAAAAS playlist time

It's christmas again and I for one could not be happier.

I love christmas. I love the lights, the films, the biblical stories etc . . . But most of all I love the music. Like photographs or smells, music brings back vivid memories for me. Hearing one song on the radio can take me back to the time I first heard that song. But not only does it transport me back to that time it also makes me feel what I was feeling at that time and reminds me of my interests and worries and dreams and friends and general life. Music is awesome.

Christmas music, obviously, reminds me of winters past. Driving in the car, in the dark with rain/snow slashing down on the windscreen as Bublé and Shakin' Stevens and Paul McCartney and Cliff Richard and Bruce Springsteen and Otis Redding and Mud and Wizzard blast seasonal tunes from inside the radio. Decorating the house with umpteen fairy lights and glittery baubles with the melody of silent night whispering in the background. Slade soundtracking a night of friends, family, champagne and pigs in blankets. Simply - christmas would not be christmas without the music be that carols, gospel, rock n roll, folk, blues or pop.

Last year I made a little alternative christmas playlist and these are still some of my favourite seasonal covers but I thought I'd make an extended version this year. Just click on the song and enjoy.  Alternatively you can click here for the whole playlist on YouTube.

Also, if you are looking for more christmas playlists head on over to Spotify they have some crackin' ones.

•  Merry Christmas Baby - Bruce Springsteen (the B.B. King version is also insanely good)
•  The Christmas Waltz - She & Him 
•  Do You Hear What I Hear - Bob Dylan 
•  Christmas Time's a-Comin' - Johnny Cash
•  Christmas in Harlem - Kanye West 
•  Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2
•  Don't Shoot Me Santa - The Killers
•  Baby, It's Cold Outside - Rufus Wainwright & Sharon Van Etten 
•  I Want an Alien For Christmas - Fountains of Wayne
•  Frosty the Snowman - Fiona Apple 
•  The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting) - Paul McCartney
•  Someday at Christmas - Stevie Wonder
•  Home - Blake Shelton, Michael Bublé
•  This Christmas - Lady Antebellum 
•  Hard Candy Christmas - Dolly Parton 
•  Christmas in Hollis - Run-DMC
•  Sleigh Ride - TLC
•  What Christmas Means - Hanson 
•  The Spirit of Christmas - LeAnn Rimes, Aloe Black
•  Back Door Santa - BB King
•  The Snow Is Falling - Ray Charles 
•  Silent Night - The Staple Singers
•  Children Go Where I Send Thee - Kenny Rogers 
•  Silent Night, Holy Night - Sister Rosetta Tharpe

Hobbies.

Throughout school and university hobbies were what took over most of my life. When 3:30pm came and the school bell rang I would grab my bags and head to hockey, rugby, net-ball, running club or piano lessons. This has been the routine for most of my life thus far. However, now working full time and travelling three hours a day means that I don’t really have that much spare time to do anything other than exercise, eat dinner and sleep. This routine has been making me a little bit (read: hugely) frustrated over the last few months.

I’m the sort of person who likes to achieve things. Be that getting good grades in my work, finish a half marathon, read a certain amount of books in a specific time frame etc. Due to regularly working weekends and not arriving home until late on weekdays I have been feeling as though I have not been achieving much at all recently which has not been good.

I often feel my blood start to boil and my body begins to shake with frustration and anger almost that I’m not out there constantly achieving and working so hard that I am truly exhausted. It’s like we want to be stressed and tired just so we can tell people that we’re stressed and tired so that they will think, “oh waw, she works hard.” 

But that’s just stupid.

I do have my hobbies – exercising, reading, playing the piano, listening to music, writing and so on. And I do really want to do more of every single one of them but that’s not too realistic right now. Instead of getting frustrated that maybe I don’t have time right now to dedicate to them all simultaneously I am going to just pick one or two a week that I will concentrate on; making everything seem less daunting.

I don’t know about you but I often find myself wasting time thinking of all the things that I need/want to be doing instead of actually doing them. Once you actively start to get the ball rolling things don’t seem so impossible. By prioritising one or two hobbies a week instead of constantly thinking of all the things I want to be doing but not having time for, I hope this will allow me to feel more accomplished and less like a failure.

I’ve only been in full time work for 6 months so I’m still learning on how to time manage everything but breaking issues up into smaller more manageable pieces just makes life seem more achievable.

MINDY KALING - WHY NOT ME & HOW IT CHANGED MY WAY OF THINKING

If you're a member of my immediate family then you know that I can sometimes be a little dramatic (but isn't everyone)! 

Example A: two or three weekends ago, ( I can't remember, weeks all mold into one these days) the morning after the Foo Fighters gig in Milton Keynes my mum and I woke up in a little Travelodge off the M4 ( we had booked it, it wasn't like a Hangover situation). Mum got up and made us coffees with the little kettle and the crap instant coffee they provide you with in hotels. I sat up, turned on Andrew Marr and sipped my coffee that my mum had brought to me in bed. 

IT WAS SOOOOO HOT! 

When the molten liquid touched my lips my skin instantly began to burn. As a result, I pulled the cup away from my mouth with such vigour that coffee spilt over my top and the bed sheets. Without missing a beat I turned to my mum and began shouting "YOU SHOULD NEVER SERVE COFFEE THAT HOT TO ANYONE. EVER!!" Like she was some sort of servant or waitress whos job it was to make me coffee, rather than a mother who was willing to make me a drink. Halfway through my shouting I couldn't keep it together, i 100% recognised how pathetic and dramatic I sounded! For the next 10 minutes I laughed so much that tears ran down my face.

So yeah, basically I can, on occasions, be dramatic but at least I am fully aware that I'm being a drama queen. Consequently I also recognise when I am not being dramatic and actually reacting reasonably.

Therefore when I write that Mindy Kaling's new book 'Why Not Me' was all things awesome and that one page has genuinely changed my life, it is no exaggeration

Annoyingly many interviewers have become incredibly lazy and boring when interviewing Mindy Kaling by asking the same few questions over and over and over again. What's it like to be a 'curvy' actress? What's it like being an Indian across in Hollywood? Fine ask that question maybe once but don't continuously ask the same, increasingly pointless question over 10 years on from when Kaling first appeared on our screens in The Office US. She is more than her size and her ethnicity and also before I go any further, she isn't even big. She is normal. If she wasn't acting on our screens in the shadow of Hollywood then nobody would bat an eyelid at her size. So just stop already. 

What Kaling writes in her new book is simple yet effective. When discussing diets, weight etc she simply states that she has no time to continuously think about losing weight. Of course, she writes, that on occasions she feels self-conscious but she doesn't let it take over her life. She is a successful woman who has her own hit TV show, of course she has more important things to think about. I mean, in this day and age if you have ample time to think about dieting and spend your days thinking about how you look then you have too much time on your hands. You should read a book, write, work out etc instead of constantly filling your head with time-consuming worries. 

There is no denying that all of us at one point or another worry about how we look to others and how our clothes fit on our bodies but gosh, it does take up a lot of our time. 

I still work out around five times a week but that's because it makes me feel good and not (well. sometimes) because I feel that I need to. Live a healthy, balanced life and everything will fall into place. And if you miss a day of exercise, don't panic. It is not the end of the world, just do it tomorrow. Chill. 

When I read Kaling's page or two on this topic and how she is too busy writing, producing, editing (the list goes on) her own frickin' TV show to worry about something that really does not need to be worried about (unless it's effecting your health) I felt a freeing feeling. I too have a gazillion other, much more important things, I should be focusing on rather than obsessing over food and exercise. Think of what you could achieve if you placed all that thinking energy onto something else. I bet you could achieve awesome things. 

Mindy, thanks. 

AC/DC - WEMBLEY STADIUM - 4/7/2015

8:59am, my curser is hovering over the refresh button on the Ticketmaster website. Bang. 9am – refresh. Nooooo, I’m in a queue with the never ending circle of death going round and round and round. Finally – 9:04am and the tickets are bought.

We would be heading to Wembley on the 4^th of July to watch Rock legends AC/DC – one of our family’s favourite bands. When I told my mam on the phone that I managed to get tickets she apparently almost cried. A bit extreme, but we do love some Rock or Bust.

After some margaritas in Covent Garden and a belly full of Chinese food in Chinatown we jumped on the tube and made our way over to the stadium. We caught the last few songs from Los Angeles blues band Vintage Trouble, a band that I’ve loved for a few years, before taking our place in the middle of the floor ready to hear some guitar solos from the uniform-wearing Angus Young.

As people returned from the bar with trays of booze, Brian Johnson’s unmistakable voice could be heard echoing across Northwest London.  The band transitioned from Rock or Bust into Shoot to Thrill and classics rock anthem, Back to Black, and the crowd were bouncing – both young and old – and that’s how they remained for the next two hours.

Middle aged men were dancing as if they were 21 again with their now non-existent hair swishing around as they head banged to classics such as Whole Lotta Rosie and T.N.T. I think that’s one of the reasons I love going to gigs – people forget about their day-to-day struggles, let loose and enjoy.

As You Shook Me All Night Long and Hells Bells were played I experienced a moment of genuine joy that I hadn’t felt in a long while. My brother, his friend and I were jumping up and down to the beat as if our lives depended on it, singing ‘till our lungs felt on fire. Amazing.

After Young finished his mammoth guitar solo during Let There Be Rock, the band finished the evening with the cannon’s of For Those About to Rock (We Salute You) sounding around the stadium.

Magical.

Witnessing what could possible be AC/DC’s last concert on British soil was pretty cool (understatement) and watching the tens of thousands of fans walking towards Wembley Park tube-station, red horns flashing and voices still belting, was an experience I will never forget.

Sprinting through Waterloo station to catch the last train however, is an experience I would really like to forget.

STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES, PLEASE

Can you actually see what’s around you? I mean, can you truly see what resides in your surroundings?

Can you see the little ladybird in the grass? Can you hear the bird tweeting in the tree? Did you see that cloud that looked like a dinosaur?

It’s 2015 and we all lead extremely busy lives. Or so it seems. We rush to work/school/college – we wake up, exercise, get changed quickly, have a quick look at the news and we’re out the door. We get to work and are heads are down for the majority of the next eight hours before we jump in the car once more to head home/to a meeting/to the gym. When we get through the door and kick our shoes off, we make some food, watch some TV, read and head to bed before doing the same thing the next day.

The hours turn into days and the days quickly turn into weeks and months before we even have a moment to sit down and contemplate what we’ve been doing, what we’ve accomplished and where we are in our lives right now. Everything turns into a blur of travel, work and sleep.

This has really come to fruition in my life recently.

University does go by quickly but at least you kind of feel as if you have some sort of control over your life. You get to organise your own days – your work schedule, your social life and you also don’t really have to travel far. Your friends surround you, so planning to meet with them isn’t a struggle as you’re all basically living on the same time – there are no rigid work hours that you all have to negotiate.  You have some time to breathe, even if it doesn’t seem that way when you have essay, dissertation and presentation deadlines.

After finishing my exams I went straight into full-time work doing a job that I love and right now wouldn’t change for the world. However, months of travelling a 100 miles a day (three hours on the road) occasionally catches up on me. Come Friday I am exhausted. It’s not like “oh I feel a bit tired”, I mean to the point where my body hurts. But that’s a part of life – a part of a working life.

What travelling so far each day, working and exercising does is that it doesn’t give you much time to appreciate life – the little things in life. It’s easy to lose perspective. All of a sudden being stuck in traffic for ten minutes on the motorway becomes the worst thing in the world. When in reality, it doesn’t matter one bit. Yes, maybe you’ll be home later than usual or you might be late to the gym, but really, who cares?

Your heart is still beating and you are breathing – everything else is a bonus.

I have been watching LadieDottie on YouTube for a few years and Datev and her boyfriend Kevin seem to centre me as a human being once more. Their appreciation for the little things in life is inspiring. They see beauty in all that surrounds them – the mountains, the wildlife, the sea. They take time to stop, get out of the car and appreciate how cool a building looks or how beautiful a view is – they take time to appreciate life.

This is something I feel that we regularly forget to do and even how to do it.

Personally I am going to make a conscious effort to appreciate everything beautiful and positive that surrounds me. That cute little sheep in the field, the red-orange colour of the sky as the sun sets, the sound of that bird flapping its wings as it flies over head – these are all things that make up our surroundings and are things that have the ability to improve us as people and help relax us.

They maybe small things but they have the ability to change our perspective on life immensely.

FOO FIGHTERS - MILTON KEYNES NATIONAL BOWL - 5/9/15

Dave Grohl  - the nicest guy in rock they say – and after Saturday evening I can categorically agree.

On Saturday night at the Milton Keynes National Bowl, Grohl apologised numerous times for something that he couldn’t really help (although, did he really have to jump of that flippin' stage?!). Eleven weeks ago Grohl shattered his leg after jumping off the stage at a Foo Fighters gig in Sweden. An injury that meant the band had to cancel their upcoming dates including a headlining gig at Glastonbury festival and two nights at the cathedral of rock – Wembley Stadium. The news rippled through Europe and once it arrived in the UK thousands of hearts could be heard breaking and breaths became bated as fans awaited news of possible new dates.

As Grohl was resting in the luxury Grosevnor House in London after metal plates and pins were settling into their new home in the rock-star’s leg, new dates were announced. Not Wembley this time but rather the National Bowl in Milton Keynes; a familiar place for Grohl and the band who first played the coliseum-like venue back in 2011.

Having left home at 11:30am and traveled the length of Wales and half of England throughout the day, by 6:15pm, as we parked the car, we were more than ready to listen to some good music. Unfortunately, we missed Royal Blood but we did get to listen to their set while sitting in traffic outside the National Bowl. I have been lucky enough to see them live twice before so it wasn’t all that bad. After buying a ‘Brake a Leg Tour’ t-shirt (which are apparently selling on ebay now for over a £100  – crazy seeing as I bought it for £22!) we headed into the bowl just in time to watch the mad mystery that is Iggy Pop.

Iggy Pop entertained us with hits such as The Passenger, Real Wild Child and Lust for Life in between sweary but funny ramblings about how happy he was to perform for us that evening. Also, is Pop seriously double jointed? If not, I think he needs to visit a doctor!

With the shirtless Iggy Pop off the stage it was only a matter of time before the Foos graced us with their presence. As quarter past eight approached, the center of the bowl began filling up with kids, parents, teenagers and grandparents alike. Rock has no age barrier it seems.

Before the crowd could take in the fact that Grohl and the boys were on stage, in the flesh, right in front of their eyes, the band immediately bombarded their fans with hit after glorious hit that gave a strong indication that the evening was going to be special. 

Starting with Everlong, straight into Monkey Wrench and to the Foo’s classic Learn to Fly the crowd couldn’t believe their luck - after the disappointment of the cancellation of the Wembley gigs to this amazing evening - it had been an emotional journey!

 It started superbly and it continued like that until the very last song 2 hours and 15 minutes later. A mammoth set that even Bruce Springsteen himself would be proud of.

The Pretender along with Sonic Highway anthems, Congregation and Something From Nothing kept the crowd bouncing late into the evening. However, one of my personal favorites, Big Me, was somewhat overshadowed by the impromptu light show that Grohl asked the audience to create with their phones; although taking away from the beauty of the song, the lights were pretty cool!

A few lengthy instrumentals arguably slowed down the Foos momentum but nothing could truly bring the crowd down from the euphoria they felt after witnessing a piece of musical history half way through the set.

Having watched the YouTube clip of Led Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page joining the Foos on stage in Wembley stadium during their last world tour to sing the Led Zep classic Rock and Roll, I was hoping that they would arrange something similar for us this time around. Unfortunately they hadn’t planned anything. Fortunately, however, the stars aligned and the universe was on our side as Led Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones and Queen’s Roger Taylor happened to turn up to watch the gig and agreed to join the Foos onstage to form a “Superduper Group” and perform the Queen classic, Under Pressure!

As the crowd finished dueting with Grohl on Best of You, Grohl grabbed his crutches and walked to the front of the stage with the rest of the band to thank the thousands of fans who had traveled to Milton Keynes to watch them perform on that memorable September evening. The fact that Grohl’s leg was still in plaster and that he was sat down for the whole performance in his fantastic throne, barring the little dance he had during Monkey Wrench, was irrelevant as the front-man still owned the stage and held the audience in the palm of his hand more so than any band, able-bodied or not, that I've ever seen. Now that’s a sign of a great front-man and a great band.

For me, it was a dream-come-true to see Foo Fighter live – a band that I have loved for the majority of my life; a band that I was brought up on. Having been to countless number of gigs over the last 21 years, Saturday’s gig was definitely in my top 3. Foo Fighters are up there keeping company with Bruce Springsteen and AC/DC in my estimation. 

They were worth the wait.

I'M PERFECTLY HAPPY, THANKS: THE NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

"It's because you think you're too cool isn't it."

This is what some people think/say when I announce to them the seemingly shocking news that I do not use Facebook.

"But, like, everyone uses Facebook!"

Its not that I don't have a Facebook profile, I do. It's just that I don't care enough to log on. This might make me seem selfish, rude even, but I really do not care what other people whom I do not regularly speak to are doing.

The people that I adore the most and the people I count as my closest friends are in my phone. I text them, phone them and FaceTime them. I follow them on twitter and instagram and regularly meet up for coffee and a chat. These are the people that I care about. I don't really care about that girl five years younger than me that recently went out on an "awesome night out" and felt like posting a gazillion pictures of her and her "mates" drinking in a pub.

Social media is a wonderful, revolutionary and amazing thing. It has changed the way in which we live our lives, how we communicate and how we see the world. News is instantly available to us through twitter and push notifications from our preferred news app. Friends are but a click away and thousands if not millions of amazing people are influencing the world one blog post at a time. I am in no way berating social media or Facebook.

Facebook is certainly a great site. I mean, if it wasn't then it would not have become the mecca that it is, or arguably was, before Twitter and Instagram came on to the scene. Families and friends can stay in contact when they live thousands of miles apart and pictures can be stored in albums to look back on in years to come.

It is certainly not Facebook that is the problem. Rather, it's the fact that people want to constantly know what you are doing and where you are going - that's the problem.

I overhear conversations where people discuss certain events - who was there, what happened etc. - as if they themselves were a part of the celebrations, only later finding out that they deciphered all of this information from a few photos posted on social media.

It might just be me (it most probably is just me) but unless my friends are there or unless I am there I don't feel the need to learn every detail about THAT party.

Having been away at university for three years and recently returning home to live I am totally out of the loop and have no clue what is happening locally. I mean, I know what my friends are doing but I don't know the ins and outs of the lives of people that I barely remember from school and I don't feel that I need to know either.

I live at home but work an hour and a half away thus meaning that I spend most of my day either in work or on the road and my weekends are taken up with me attempting to catch up on sleep, attempting to relax or visiting friends and family in all corners of Britain.

I am certainly aware that people might think of me as 'strange' for not wanting to know every detail of everyone's life but I am perfectly happy just being involved in the lives of people that I genuinely care about.

Conversely, I regularly fangirl over writers, comedians and bloggers on twitter and instagram - people that I only know through the screen of my laptop. These are people that I admire. They produce incredibly witty, intelligent, beautiful and important work that I feel everyone should witness. The difference here is that I'm not prying to see what they got up to on the weekend, who they're hanging out with or what they wore to that party last weekend. Instead, I am updating their twitter feed to see if they have posted a new article, a new stand up show, some important news. These people are providing content that makes a difference - well, to me anyway.

I am an avid social media user and would dread to think what I would do if twitter, instagram or blogger were taken away from me, but when did everyone get so involved in other people's lives? I understand that we as a people have always been nosy, inquisitive, interested - whatever you want to call it - in other people's lives but when did it become an obsession?

Please don't think of me as weird or 'a bit up herself' for not wanting to know every detail of everyone's life. I care what my friends and family are doing and I care about the work the people I admire are producing and that's enough to keep me occupied for now. This might well  change in the future but for now I am quite happy.

FEAR: A TERRIBLE AND WONDERFUL THING.

 

So, there I was, tears flowing down my face, sat in a random pub car park with no signal and what felt like no hope. No, this is not how my Saturday night ended but rather it was a Monday afternoon. Last Monday in fact.

After work I had an appointment with a homeopath who lived on the complete other side of the city. Google maps said that it should take 20 minutes to reach my destination. I left with 30 minutes in my time bank. Fine, right? Wrong. Not only was the traffic utterly relentless but my phone and my only hope of finding my destination had decided that it could not be bothered to pick up any signal today. He was just a bit tired.

I thought, that's fine, I'll just print the directions off at work before I leave; You know, like the olden days when you actually had to read directions. However, attempting to navigate city traffic at rush hour while also attempting to read direction does not really work too well. Therefore, I quickly abandoned the directions and went with my gut.

Eventually, after many three point turns and numerous full circles around countless roundabouts, I reached the little village. But, could I find the man? No. Obviously not. That would have been way to easy.

I drove up and down the thin and too long village so many times that I was worried that I would be pulled over for curb crawling. My appointment was at half five. It was not ten past six.

Did I mention that the majority of my nightmares are not of monsters chasing me down a dark forest but rather they are of me turning up very late to something. That feeling of knowing that you're late, like REALLY late, and not being able to do anything about it makes me feel physically ill.

I gave up. Well, almost. I did think about turning back and heading home but I thought no, I'll give it another five minutes. I walked in to a pub, voice breaking from trying not to cry and borrowed the lovely waitress' phone.

Ring. Nope, my mam didn't feel like picking up either. I left the pub with some directions but not much of a clue of how to follow them. Once more I travelled the length of the village, shaking now.

Wait. I found it. I FOUND IT. Forty-five minutes late but I actually found the stupid place.

I was in with the homeopath for all of five minutes before his next patient arrived. And those five minutes were mostly taken up with me trying not to completely break down in front of him.

On the way home I cried but just a bit. One of my biggest fears had actually come true. But do you know what, I am still alive. My heart is still pumping, my brain is still working and my lungs continue to feel the freshness of crisp Welsh air.

Fear is an interesting thing. It is both horrible and wonderful. It makes you cry but also laugh. It is what can stop us in our tracks but equally it is what can drive us to accomplish magnificent things - if we let it.

Without fear we would probably still be living in a cave somewhere taking turn to nap while preparing to go out and hunt for our next meal. Without fear people wouldn't create, wouldn't make and wouldn't succeed.

Fear shows that you care. You care about respecting someone's time, you care about your future, you care about your loved ones and you care about your career. However, giving in to that fear means that you are preventing yourself from achieving what you want from life. Fear is there to test us. Do you want it enough to break through the dark and unknown wall? The answer is and should always be, yes.

I was terrified turning up on my first day of university but I stuck at it and had the best time and met my best friends. I was terrified turning up to my first day of work but I turned up and I love my job.

Fear is something that we should see as something wonderful; something that propels us into a brighter future. Fear is something that we need to take control of and show who's boss.  

NO MORE STUDENT LIVING

After work on Wednesday my mam and I headed down to Englefield Green near Windsor to start moving all of my stuff out of my student house. When I arrived I felt this turning in my stomach that I feel when things are changing or if I feel a bit overwhelmed. Seeing Hollie and Ettore's rooms empty was a bit of a shock to the system. I mean, I knew they had moved out but I just started thinking about the last year and everything that happened; All the reading, the essay planning, dissertation writing, food making, conversations had and films watched in our little three bed house on St. Judes Road - and then it was just over. As Hollie and I started work almost immediately after our exams finished we left the house quite quickly so I didn't have much time to process anything. However, after moving my stuff, cleaning a few bits and pieces around the house, I handed my keys back to the agency and just like that the door closed behind me. It's quite metaphorical really, isn't it - another stage of my life has ended and another has begun.

As a little break from moving and cleaning, on Thursday afternoon we headed into central London. With London's tubes on stop due to the strike the city was quieter than normal which was pretty sweet. When we were walking through Waterloo station to get to the Southbank it felt a bit like a ghost town and with the sun beaming down on the concrete floors it was nice to have a bit more room to breathe in the sweaty city.

After having a glass of prosecco on the rooftop garden of the Royal Festival Hall we made our way over to Covent Garden where we stopped in our usual spot - La Perla. La Perla is a Mexican bar that make THE BEST frozen margaritas ever. Although, we didn't have much time there as we were heading to Somerset House to visit The Jam exhibition.

One of my best friends, Katie works at Somerset House and she recommended this exhibition and as my mam and I love that kind of punk/rock music we had to go really, didn't we?! For some strange and unknown reason I had never been to Somerset House before but it is absolutely beautiful. The courtyard was spectacular and as the sun was out, there were loads of people sitting on little bistro table with wine and coffee reading books and having what were probably awesome conversations. The exhibition did not disappoint. There was so much original material from the band itself - letters, clothing, records, newspaper clippings and posters. It is well worth a visit!

We headed to Franco Manca for dinner - a place which probably make the best pizza in London. On top of their famous sourdough pizza base I ordered chorizo, buffalo mozzarella and tomato. OMG. It was so flavoursome and light - it was everything.

The National Portrait Gallery is open late on Thursdays so we had a walk around the gallery before perching ourselves on a few steps overlooking Trafalgar Square. At around half 8 it was still 20 degrees so we watched the world go buy before making our way back through parliament square, over Westminster bridge to Waterloo and back to the house.

The next day I said my final goodbye to the house, had coffee in Crosslands (the place where I spent 90% of my third year) and walked around Royal Holloway's spectacular campus before starting our drive home. It's a strange feeling knowing that come September I won't be making the trip back to Egham to start another year of learning but I'm sure more exciting things will come to fill the little hole that knowing I won't be returning as a student has left inside me!

During easter holidays I was basically sat in my dad's big shed outside for around eight hours a day writing my dissertation and revising for my final exams and eventually my mam decided that I needed to have a break. I certainly was not going to disagree so we picked up my grandmother and the three of us headed down to Saundersfoot in Pembrokeshire.

The weekend before, mam had stayed in the area with her friend and she kept raving about Coast, a restaurant which is situated almost directly on the most beautiful beach. Therefore I obviously had to go there to see what the fuss was all about! 

Almost immediately after we arrived I knew that this was going to be a pretty great lunch. We were sat next to the window and our view was spectacular. While drinking our wine and waiting for our food we had a panoramic view of the glittering seas of Carmarthen Bay drenched in sunshine. It was pretty special. 

For starters I had the crumbled Pantysgawn goat's cheese which was a type of greek salad with watermelon. It was amazing. I'm not really sure what else to say about it other than I could have carried on eating it all day! For mains I went for the sea bass and I am so glad that I did. The dish was fresh, light and immensely flavoursome. The nut and seed couscous was the perfect accompaniment to the dish as not only was it tasty but it didn't make you feel uncomfortably full afterwards. Of course we could't leave without having dessert! The white chocolate cheesecake caught my eye and with strawberries, a ginger biscuit base and sweet basil, how could it not! 

Everything that made it on to our table was incredibly tasty and they were all dishes that I would recommend people to try. The food at Coast is amazing but also quite pricey - I would say that it's a perfect place to go for special occasions or if your going for a nice and relaxed day out. Also, with the views that come with the food I think it was worth every single penny. 

Upon finishing our meal (I think we were sat there admiring the views and slowly eating our food so that we could savour every bite for around two and a half hours! oops!) we went for a little walk on the beach. A perfect way to end an amazing meal. 

 

I GRADUATED!

I actually did it! I graduated! The last three years have flown by at such speed that it seems crazy to me that I now have a 2:1 degree in history from Royal Holloway, University of London. I remember the weeks leading up to leaving home and moving to England when I was extremely nervous about the days, weeks, months and even years ahead. Would I be able to actually do the work? Would I make any friends? Looking back now there was nothing to worry about but if I was to do it all again I would probably still worry because it's a massive thing to undertake - moving house, moving country and starting university.

In three years I have met the people I now regard as my best friends, I have learnt sooooo much stuff that it baffles me that one person's brain can attain that much information. I have cried a lot but laughed even more. I have travelled to places that I had never stepped foot in before and witnessed amazing things. The thing that I am most grateful for however is the amount of confidence I have gained. Before leaving for uni I even hated going up to the till to pay for something on my own in a shop and now I have a job which consists of mostly speaking to and meeting people that I have never seen before in my life.

Uni was an amazing time and going back to my graduation a few weeks ago made me want to stay just a little bit longer but alas I am now in the 'real world'. Fortunately I was offered a job straight after I finished my final exams so that meant that I had one less thing to worry about as I left the safety of the university campus!

I currently work as a TV researcher at a production company based in Wales and this week I finished my first production! Having researched the show for around 6 weeks and having worked 12 hour days last week to put the show together, seeing it on TV was pretty cool (iplayer - 'The Royal Welsh Show 2015').

Anyway, I'm sure I'll discuss my current job situation more in another post but for now here are some pictures from my graduation day!

DISCUSSION: BOOKS

For the last two and a half weeks I've been relaxing and reading - the best R and R. With a three week period between the end of my exams and the start of my new job I have spent most of my time reading. For the first time in three years I have no set reading that I have to complete, no pressure to dissect every paragraph and no panics over writing literature reviews. I can actually read for pleasure!

The first book that I read in my period of freedom was Michelle Tea's How To Grow Up. I saw some people tweet about this book a few weeks ago but forgot about it until I came across it while scrolling through the Book Depository website. Seeing that I would soon be finishing uni and heading into the 'real world' I thought it would be an interesting book to read and it was. Tea's How To Grow Up is a memoir that documents the writer's life from young alcoholic to successful author, poet . . . the list goes on. Although I could not totally relate to Tea's colourful early life, the lessons she learns on her way to adulthood could be applied to most areas of every individual's life. She discusses economic, social and political struggles that the majority of young people experience, like for example, how are you going to pay the rent this month, how to live with loud, messy and drunk housemates, how to strike the balance between work and play, how to make a living doing something you actually love and everything in between. Although it is not a book I will reach for again and again like others on my bookshelf, it was well worth the read and it shows you that if you work hard things will eventually come together. 

END OF UNIVERSITY PLAYLIST

Seeing that I am technically not a student anymore, although my student card doesn't run out until the 15th of June, I decided to make a playlist to signal the end of my life in education, the end of my life as a student and the start of my life in the 'real world'. All these songs I love but they they are also songs (most of them) that discuss moving on, leaving something and enjoying life. I am writing this four days before I leave uni to start my new job, sat in the uni's coffee shop and it's pretty emotional. This week has has been and continues to be extremely busy in terms of going out, seeing friends and celebrating. I know I've said this a gazillion times but I can not believe that three years have passed since I first stepped foot on to campus. Gosh, time does fly! For the rest of the week I'm just going to soak it all up and enjoy my last week as a student! 

FOO FIGHTERS, AC/DC AND RIVAL SONS: JUNE/JULY GIGS

As you have probably noticed, things have been quite quiet on this blog as of late (or try the whole year). This is for many reasons but mainly because of hectic a university schedule, exams, dissertations and I also just did not know what to write. I kind of lost my blogging mojo. I think I tried to be other people when I know that in order to have a well written and interesting blog you have to write about what you know and what you're passionate about. So, on that note I am going to discuss something that I have not written about in far too long and that is music.

The next few weeks are going to be hectic in terms of gigs and I could not be happier.

First up, the loves of my life, Foo Fighters. Dave Grohl and the band will be rocking Wembley stadium on both Friday and Saturday evening -19th & 20th of June. If hearing Best of You, and Learn to Fly live wasn't enough, the Foo's have lined up some frickin' stellar warm up acts to get the crowd even more ready for the time of their lives. First on stage will be a duo who took Britain by storm in 2014, an act who bossed Reading festival last year and also opened for Arctic Monkeys in Finsbury Park last May - Royal Blood. After Royal Blood leave the stage, the legendary, shirtless, long haired rocker Iggy Pop is scheduled to come on to serenade the crowd (hopefully) with classics such as The Passenger & Lust For Life. From my extensive Foo Fighters YouTubing, the last time they were in Wembley they brought the house down and were even joined on stage with Led Zeppelin's John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page to play Rock and Roll. I have a feeling that this gig is going to be pretty epic!

PODCAST HEAVEN

I’m probably very late to the game but how awesome are podcasts!?

While YouTubing (if that’s not already a word then it most definitely should be) Andy Samburg one afternoon I came across a pretty great podcast called Nerdist and the rest is history as they say!

Every spare moment I had between revision and general life I would listen to these podcasts. These are hilarious and informative hour or so interviews with some of the coolest, funniest and most interesting people out there. With hours of chat from the likes of Rainn Wilson, Nick Kroll, Morgan Freeman and Bill Gates, why would you not listen?

LIFE AND CAREER GOALS

After three years it is all over.

September 2012 - my family and I travelled the 250 or so miles to Royal Holloway, University of London and now it’s over. On that Saturday almost three years ago I had no idea what was in store. Never did I think that I would gain so much confidence, experience what I have and met people I now call my best friends.

With the last full stop of my dissertation and the last sentence of my exam it all ended. But it has not really ended, has it.

Everything you learn through attending university, the academic knowledge, how to make friends, how to live on your own, how to pay bills, how to wash clothes etc, are all things that you keep with you for the rest of your life. I am extremely grateful for this. I would hate to think where I would be now if I had not attended university. The experience has made me into an actual person.

You Are Stronger Than Your Anxiety

It seems as though everyone is talking about anxiety these days. Youtube stars such as Zoella and Tanya Burr often discuss the issue with their millions of followers. Writer and actor Lena Dunham opens up about her battle with anxiety in her book Not That Kind of Girl and universities and government are finally beginning to make it a priority to discuss the pressing issue of mental health. 

For so long anxiety and mental health has been a topic that people shy away from, a topic that gets pushed under the carpet or discussed in a whisper. As a result, people who suffer, and they do suffer; feel ashamed and embarrassed by the fact that they’re somehow weak, somehow different, and somehow crazy.

But they’re not. We’re not. We’re not any weaker, any different or any crazier than the average person on the street; if anything we’re stronger. We get on with life, even when it seems almost impossible to get out of bed. We turn up to work, lectures, and lessons without missing a beat; we turn up to life when we feel sick with worry and dread. We pluck up the courage to speak to people, even friends, when life feels like its been engulfed by fog.

Relax. Focus. Execute: The Best Piece of Advice I Was Ever Given

As I write this I have eighteen word documents opened on my desktop. Eighteen documents that are filled with dissertation chapters, notes regarding FBI Files, researched focused on news articles from 1952-65 and countless chapter outlines and random notes.

Yes, it’s that time of the year. It’s a time when dissertations need to be written, re-written, re-re-written, edited and bound. It is also the time of year when exams need to be revised for and the future needs to be thought about extensively. I guess you can say that it is pretty busy time of year.

Some days I have massive freak-outs about not finishing my dissertation on time or not managing to revise everything I need to revise (my friends can testy for this). Other days however, I feel as calm(ish) as you like, as though I have everything under control.  But I don’t have everything under control. Yes, I have my work and revision under control but the future is anything but controlled. I have no idea what I’ll be doing in three months time other than the fact that I will not be a student anymore.

My love for the cinema

It is no big secret by now that I am quite the introvert. I do not jump for joy when someone asks me to go out to the SU nor can I crack a smile when invited to pre-drinks at someone's house. It's not that I am a recluse and it's not that I am anti-social. I genuinely feel uncomfortable and anxious in situations where there are lots of (drunk) people and where there is immense pressure to drink. Don't get me wrong, I like to go and have a drink in the pub with friends where I can chat to them and have a nice catch up, I just hate situations where people expect you to drink and get drunk even though you really don't want to. That is not my idea of the perfect evening.


What I do like to do though is to go meet people for coffee, go over to people's houses and chat and one of my favourites is trips with friends to the cinema. Since the start of term (a week and a half ago) I have been to the cinema four times. I have seen the story of Steven Hawkins' life in the amazing The Theory of Everything; I watched a little boy grow into a man in the stunning Boyhood; Watched in awe as Cheryl Strayed walked a thousand miles across California and almost cried during Vera Brittain's harrowing war memoirs in The Testament of Youth. 

There are very few things I find as enjoyable and peaceful in life than walking into a theatre, making myself comfortable and investing myself in someone else's story for two hours. Two hours where no one can bother you. Two hours where its just you and the screen. Two hours where there is nothing else for you to do but to sit and watch.