Stop worrying, live your life & be happy

Today I want to share with you something that really annoys me. Something that sometimes keeps me up at night and something that I AM going to get over in 2015. That something is intense worrying. Worrying about going somewhere, doing something or meeting someone. On many occasions I find myself not going somewhere or getting really stressed before doing something because the thought of it is just too much. The thought of going for a night out where I won't be back before 2 am or going to a meeting filled with strangers or, at its worse, I found it hard to go to the gym - a place where I knew almost everyone and where I spent almost every single day last year.

However, once I'm there I'm fine. I don't feel nervous or shy, I feel utterly comfortable and even confident and I am so happy that I pushed myself to go out and do it. It's just those hours or even days before I actually have to go and do something new that are the worst. My stomach flips, I get incredibly stressed and I begin to panic. It's a hell of a lot of unwanted pressure and unhappiness that I do not need and most certainly do not want in my life.

I think a lot of it is that I worry that I won't be good enough, that I won't be perfect but as Goldie Hawn's mum said - people aren't supposed to be perfect. People are people - everyone is different be it in their shape, size, interests, intellect. People have different favourite foods and colours and just because yours aren't the same as someone else's does not mean that you are wrong or that they are wrong, it just means the world is turning as it's supposed to. 

Earlier today I was reading Laura Jane Williams' blog - SUPERLATIVELY RUDE - and her post titled 'I can't not try, you know' really struck a cord. It seems as though everyone wants you to be the best (although, 99% of the pressure is definitely created by my own high standards), you feel that you have to have everything sorted out at a young age and that you should do something even if it does not make you happy. However, you should be happy at all times - or at least as often as possible. There is no rule that says that you should only be happy a certain amount of days or hours every week, month or year. You should do what you want to do and do it for YOU. 

Laura wrote - "I don’t want to a perfect scorecard, a flawless record."  and I totally agree. I want to live life, I don't want to cry before doing something new or something out of my ordinary routine because I'm worried that I won't be good enough or because that I know I'll be worrying about all of the work that I have to do when I get back home. I just want to be in the moment and live life, I don't want to worry about other people and what they might think. I want to be. I want to a achieve what I want to achieve and I want to be happy doing it. 

So, here are some of my goals for 2015

- be Happy

- be thankful

- live in the moment

- know that I am enough 

- relax, everything will fall into place

- Live my life more efficiently. I don't have to get up at 5:50am every morning and work all day in the library from 9-5. I can get up later, exercise and work harder and more efficiently in a shorter amount of time (because I've had enough sleep and am much more productive) which allows me to see friends and have socialising time. 

- be strong both physically and mentally

- just be happy (again) 

Also, just a little end note: How amazing is Goldie Hawn?! She is a genuine inspiration - her goals to be healthy and at peace in both body and mind is incredible and something that I definitely want to emulate and achieve this year.