I GRADUATED!

I actually did it! I graduated! The last three years have flown by at such speed that it seems crazy to me that I now have a 2:1 degree in history from Royal Holloway, University of London. I remember the weeks leading up to leaving home and moving to England when I was extremely nervous about the days, weeks, months and even years ahead. Would I be able to actually do the work? Would I make any friends? Looking back now there was nothing to worry about but if I was to do it all again I would probably still worry because it's a massive thing to undertake - moving house, moving country and starting university.

In three years I have met the people I now regard as my best friends, I have learnt sooooo much stuff that it baffles me that one person's brain can attain that much information. I have cried a lot but laughed even more. I have travelled to places that I had never stepped foot in before and witnessed amazing things. The thing that I am most grateful for however is the amount of confidence I have gained. Before leaving for uni I even hated going up to the till to pay for something on my own in a shop and now I have a job which consists of mostly speaking to and meeting people that I have never seen before in my life.

Uni was an amazing time and going back to my graduation a few weeks ago made me want to stay just a little bit longer but alas I am now in the 'real world'. Fortunately I was offered a job straight after I finished my final exams so that meant that I had one less thing to worry about as I left the safety of the university campus!

I currently work as a TV researcher at a production company based in Wales and this week I finished my first production! Having researched the show for around 6 weeks and having worked 12 hour days last week to put the show together, seeing it on TV was pretty cool (iplayer - 'The Royal Welsh Show 2015').

Anyway, I'm sure I'll discuss my current job situation more in another post but for now here are some pictures from my graduation day!

END OF UNIVERSITY PLAYLIST

Seeing that I am technically not a student anymore, although my student card doesn't run out until the 15th of June, I decided to make a playlist to signal the end of my life in education, the end of my life as a student and the start of my life in the 'real world'. All these songs I love but they they are also songs (most of them) that discuss moving on, leaving something and enjoying life. I am writing this four days before I leave uni to start my new job, sat in the uni's coffee shop and it's pretty emotional. This week has has been and continues to be extremely busy in terms of going out, seeing friends and celebrating. I know I've said this a gazillion times but I can not believe that three years have passed since I first stepped foot on to campus. Gosh, time does fly! For the rest of the week I'm just going to soak it all up and enjoy my last week as a student! 

LIFE AND CAREER GOALS

After three years it is all over.

September 2012 - my family and I travelled the 250 or so miles to Royal Holloway, University of London and now it’s over. On that Saturday almost three years ago I had no idea what was in store. Never did I think that I would gain so much confidence, experience what I have and met people I now call my best friends.

With the last full stop of my dissertation and the last sentence of my exam it all ended. But it has not really ended, has it.

Everything you learn through attending university, the academic knowledge, how to make friends, how to live on your own, how to pay bills, how to wash clothes etc, are all things that you keep with you for the rest of your life. I am extremely grateful for this. I would hate to think where I would be now if I had not attended university. The experience has made me into an actual person.

You Are Stronger Than Your Anxiety

It seems as though everyone is talking about anxiety these days. Youtube stars such as Zoella and Tanya Burr often discuss the issue with their millions of followers. Writer and actor Lena Dunham opens up about her battle with anxiety in her book Not That Kind of Girl and universities and government are finally beginning to make it a priority to discuss the pressing issue of mental health. 

For so long anxiety and mental health has been a topic that people shy away from, a topic that gets pushed under the carpet or discussed in a whisper. As a result, people who suffer, and they do suffer; feel ashamed and embarrassed by the fact that they’re somehow weak, somehow different, and somehow crazy.

But they’re not. We’re not. We’re not any weaker, any different or any crazier than the average person on the street; if anything we’re stronger. We get on with life, even when it seems almost impossible to get out of bed. We turn up to work, lectures, and lessons without missing a beat; we turn up to life when we feel sick with worry and dread. We pluck up the courage to speak to people, even friends, when life feels like its been engulfed by fog.

Relax. Focus. Execute: The Best Piece of Advice I Was Ever Given

As I write this I have eighteen word documents opened on my desktop. Eighteen documents that are filled with dissertation chapters, notes regarding FBI Files, researched focused on news articles from 1952-65 and countless chapter outlines and random notes.

Yes, it’s that time of the year. It’s a time when dissertations need to be written, re-written, re-re-written, edited and bound. It is also the time of year when exams need to be revised for and the future needs to be thought about extensively. I guess you can say that it is pretty busy time of year.

Some days I have massive freak-outs about not finishing my dissertation on time or not managing to revise everything I need to revise (my friends can testy for this). Other days however, I feel as calm(ish) as you like, as though I have everything under control.  But I don’t have everything under control. Yes, I have my work and revision under control but the future is anything but controlled. I have no idea what I’ll be doing in three months time other than the fact that I will not be a student anymore.

First Term Reflections

Last Wednesday was my last seminar of 2014 and the end of my first term as a third year. Third year is the year that everyone says is the hardest, the one where you will have no social life and will be working non-stop to the point where you begin to hate everything and everyone. However, my experience has been almost the opposite.

First term of second year was one of the most difficult times I have ever experienced. The amount of work we had to do was incredible in comparison to first year. We had at least one deadline a week for 11 weeks and along with playing sports and making time for friends it all got a bit  much. Third year however I feel as though I have found my groove. Don't get me wrong I still stress and panic occasionally over not necessarily the amount of work that I have to complete but more of the fact that the work counts for a hell of a lot more this time around.

Since the second term of second year (barring holidays such as Easter and Summer and the weekends) my alarm has been going off at 5:50am every single morning. I lived a very monotonous life of getting to the gym by 7am, staying in the library until around 5pm and then headed home to chill or go visit friends. However, a few weeks ago it all became way too much and I felt horrific as I was soooo tired and stressed so I decided to change things up a bit.

WALKING WORK BREAK

FINDING MY FEET

October signals the start of a new university year. A new house, new people, new lecturers, new goals, new deadlines, new timetable, new stresses, new laughs, new experiences. While the majority of these new things have entered my life without a polite please or a thank you, in what seems like a blur, they are all welcomed and I would not have it any other way.

STOP. BREATHE. RELAX: My attempt to stop worrying about life.

While writing the conclusion to my last exam of second year, summer seemed like a magical land. A land where I didn't have to get up at 6am, where I didn't have to sit at my desk all day staring at the blank, beige, terribly wallpapered wall that taunted me day-in-day-out. If I had to draw a picture of what summer looked to me while sat in the sports centre hall it might have included the odd unicorn prancing across a field and a few rainbow her and there. 

However, I seemed to have forgotten in that moment when I lost myself in my own thoughts that I in fact do terrible under a lack of routine. I started suffering from anxiety around four years ago. It started with the odd panic attack here and there but then it quickly developed into chronic anxiety that I just can't seem to shift. To be perfectly honest it's a hell of a pain in the arse. 

I text my friends and most of them are relaxing, watching television, reading, going on holidays and just loving summer as they most definitely should - God knows that we work damn hard at uni while we're there. Despite this, it seems as though my mind can't help itself but whizz around 24 hours a day seven days a week looking for ways to keep me busy and to just simply beat me up. By this I mean that sometimes my mind falls into a rather annoying place where all it can do is put me down - you're not smart enough, you need to be doing more, get your act together, you're way too fat. The last one is the one that gets me down the most. It really isn't the nicest place to be and it's just exhausting. 

Looking back, I definitely wasted my July away worrying about the most pointless things. That's the thing, at the time they most certainly do not seem like the most pointless things. In fact they seem like the most important things in the world. After my friend Ellie came to visit I made a promise to myself to just chill. Just stop. Just breathe. I have been getting a bit better. Hell, I even watched a whole film in two sittings the other day - that's a breakthrough. 

My constant need to 'do' something got a little crazy a few months ago when I found myself exercising everyday of the week (this went on for a few weeks/months). Not just a walk here or there but running 6-10 miles a few times a week, cycling and lifting weights. This wasn't the problem - I am used to working out a lot, the issue was the fact that I was not eating. I just felt sick all the time and for a few weeks I would only really eat porridge and watermelon which is not the best diet in the world. Despite this lack of eating I continued to exercise the same amount. Until last week that is. Last Friday evening I found myself lying on my bed feeling the worst that I had felt in a very long time with a wet cloth on my forehead just praying to feel better. 

Earlier in the day I ran 8 miles on a completely empty stomach and completely exhausted. When I arrived home I only ate some watermelon and a few slices of toast. I felt horrific. 

That was a turning point. That is when I told myself that things had to change. No more am I going to waste my days worrying about uncontrollable and totally ridiculous things. I mean, I probably will but I am going to work hard not to. No more am I going to exercise myself into exhaustion which I am still getting over. I am going to enjoy what remains of summer. I am going to (attempt) to stop bullying myself. Also I am going to try my hardest to lift this immense pressure that I put on myself and just go with the flow more. So what if I sit on the sofa all day watching The Mindy Project. So what if I get up at half 9 rather than 8am. It's the God Damn holidays! 

I think that people sometimes forget the pressures that are placed on young people these days and how that affects them. What I as a young person must remember is that the only thing you can do is your best and if that isn't good enough for some people then just move on - their not worth your time. I will soon be heading into my third and last year of university and by no means do I know what I want to do with my life but that is actually ok. You've just got to enjoy the ride because this is the only life you're going to have so you might as well just relax and be happy. 

SUMMER PLANS & STUDENT WORRIES

My Italy posts will be up as soon as possible. While in Venice we endured a day of torrential rain, so much rain in fact that it broke my camera thus I now have to wait for my friends to sort out their pictures and send them to me before I can actually get to posting them. Ohh the joys of rain and not so waterproof coats! 

After an awesome 2 (very hot) weeks travelling around northern Italy I am home for summer for a few weeks before I am off once more back down to Windsor/Egham with my family for a few days, Reading festival and then to the South of France to surf :D All of these things I am really excited for.

However, I am home and despite sending a gazzilion e-mails searching for work experience I have heard nothing thus far although I only sent some off recently so their is still some hope. Sometimes, actually most of the time, I feel really guilty for not having anything planned in terms of work/experience over the summer but to be honest, neither have my friends. I feel as though I should be doing something productive which will benefit me in the future. Despite this feeling, being at uni is incredibly stressful and tiring. Throughout first and second term which lasts from September to the end of March I had an essay a week to complete as well as seminar work and readings. Even through christmas holidays I was tapping away at my laptop writing essays while all my other friends from home were chilling and enjoying the break. I am not complaining because I love to learn and I like (although not always) being at a hard university because I really think (hope) that it will benefit me in the future but it does sometimes get a bit much.

I can not sit and do nothing and I think this is my biggest downfall. My friend Ruth was amazed by the questions I would randomly ask while we'd just be sitting in a cafe somewhere in Italy. She would say to me "Lisa, you think way too much in depth about everything. Just stop thinking for a bit". When I look into the sky I immediately think about space and planets and where does it all end - does the blackness just go on forever, surly it has to stop somewhere. Even while typing this my mind has drifted into attempting to figure out the unknown.

It's because of this relentless mind spinning that I have been throwing myself into reading a lot over the last week or so while also exercising everyday and working on my fitness blog - theimportanceofbeingstrong.wordpress.com . Working on this blog is something that I am really into at the moment and I hope that it will grow into something bigger in the next month or so. So really I am getting work experience, the experience of writing on a daily basis (with Lisi Loo and Importance of Being Strong) it's just that I am working for myself rather than a magazine or newspaper. Over the next few weeks I have also got to start reading and planning for my final year dissertation which is a bit scary but that's all I can do is my best and if that isn't good enough then I can't do much more than that.

So here's to relaxing, writing, working, exercising and enjoying summer.

EXAMS ARE OVER!!

This Monday just gone I sat my last exam of Second year. It was a three hour exam on the victorians and at 5pm I walked out of the sports hall a free woman. I hugged a few people, drank some Starbucks with some of my favourites and watched the last few episodes of the US Office. Over the last few days I have been attempting to adjust to the more relaxed life I now lead. However, I do not do well when I have nothing to do so I have been keeping myself relatively busy by exercising, starting new and hopefully very exciting projects, reading (a lot), hanging with friends, setting goals for the summer and travelling home for a few days of chilling.

I finished reading #Girlboss on the train home yesterday afternoon and wow, what a badass inspirational book which just made me want to go out and achieve. Myself and my friend Laura have some exciting goals for the future which I shall share on here in future but at this moment in time we are just concentrating on working hard (and God knows that we have worked hard academically over the last year) in university and in applying for internships and work experience. So many of my friends are rather weary of leaving uni but if I am honest with you I think it will be awesome, don't get me wrong I really enjoy uni but there is such a big world out there filled with potential opportunities that I am incredibly excited to enter. 

I've just attached some pictures of my journey home on the train to this post :)

REVISION

It's that time again when I spend the majority of the day attempting to organise and learn everything that I have been taught over the last few months in preparation for my 5 exams that start on the 29th of April and end at 5pm on the 12th of May. This year seems to be much tougher than any other when it comes to sitting down and revising. I'm usually really good but, I don't know, it's still early days - I might (hopefully) get in the groove soon.

There are a few things that I see as essentials when revising so I've listed them here:

// Water - lots and lots of water
// Breaks - even if it's just two minutes to watch a clip on youtube
// Music - I listen to Spotify around 6 hours a day when revising
// Coffee - self explanatory!
// Highlighters - makes the work look more fun
// Rationality - don't stress yourself out too much and don't set yourself unattainable goals (this one I'm still working on)
// Exercise - make time to go out and move at some point in the day, it doesn't have to be in the gym - go out on a walk or a cycle and get some fresh air!

Have fun and work hard people - it'll be worth it in the end.

CALLING THE PEOPLE OF THE WOLD - RELAX //

I am currently in my second term of second year at University and it's not all fun and games - it is mostly work. The jump from first to second year is more like a mountain climb - it's the biggest change in terms of the level of work that I have ever experience and it has taken me a while to get in to the swing of things. I only have lectures 3 days a week but that does NOT mean that for the rest of the week I sleep until 11am and sit on the sofa watching This Morning, Jeremy Kyle and Big Bang Theory. My typical day consists of getting up just after 7am, go the library, possibly head to Starbucks for a little break, head back to the library until early evening and then gym. I have told myself that even if I have work to do by the next day, if I haven't finished it by 8pm then it's not going to happen (reading wise, not essay wise). I get very anxious if I leave things to the last minute so I tend to finish things a few weeks in advance just so I can live my life as relaxed as possible because stress isn't good. I think the point I'm trying to make is that worrying is crap and it does not help anyone in any situation - trust me. It is a lot harder to practice than it is to preach but seriously everyone should worry less and then the world would be a happier place. I think that is my main goal not only for this year but for life in general - worry less, go with the flow more and just relax. That does not mean that you relax to the point where you don't do anything, I mean that if you time manage correctly and set your mind on something 100% then you will take less time doing it, you'll feel better and you'll enjoy life more. So everyone - relax, exercise and love living life because we have all got to do things that we somedays do not want to do but since we have to do them we might as well find a way to make those things more enjoyable. Am I right?!

COOL LONDON TRIP

A few weeks ago I went home for 'pause week' which is kind of a wannabe reading week except we still had some seminars to go to on the Thursday. That meant I couldn't be home for the whole week and I made my way back to uni very late on Wednesday evening/Thursday Morning. It wasn't too bad though because our usual two hour Thursday seminar (Victorians 1800-1850) wasn't at the uni, we had to travel in to central London for a visit to the Geffrye Museum which is a museum on the history of the home. Although it was cool seeing how rooms changed throughout the centuries in terms of interiors and possessions there wasn't too much to see there and we found more fun walking around the 'too cool' Hoxton area which surrounded the museum. There were super cool bars, quirky little coffee shops and just cool people everywhere. I have decided that I shall be returning there soon - but not for the museum - just for a coffee and a wander.

ATTENTION!

University work is insane. When they said there was a jump from first to second year they weren't lyin'. I am basically in the library from 9am till about 5pm everyday then work at home until at least 9pm each evening but I think I've come up with system that might save me a lot of time and allow me more time to do other things such as sleep and relax! Because I am constantly so busy time flies by. I have no idea how it is already the weekend. I'm looking forward to next week a hell of a lot but you'll have to wait to understand why :)

Last Wednesday myself and Hollie headed to Kingston as I needed to take my laptop back to apple to be fixed and we thought while we were there we might as well make a day out of it. Neither myself or Hollie are big shoppers thus we spent most of our time in HMV, Disney Store and in Zizzis where we ate a delicious meal before heading back home.

It seems as though Wednesday is a day for little trips. This Wednesday myself and Hollie (again)  had to jump on a train to Ashford as we needed some fancy dress stuff for the evening as we were going to our lacrosse initiations and we were ordered to dress as army privates. After grabbing some camo bandannas and facepaint we stopped off in Staines where we bought some plain t-shirts and of course we had to stop in Starbucks for a frappacino. Later that evening we got ourselves ready and went to our initiations . . . It began with an assault course in a garden, then a funnel, a ring of shots, another few houses and some party poppers and then eventually we were awarded with a soldier that officially made us a part of the lacrosse team :) I don't drink so I was fresh (but tired) the next morning whereas others were, let's just say, not!

I LOVE SUNDAYS.

Sunday is the best day of the week by far. Not Saturday, but Sunday. It's a day, unlike Saturday, where you have no pressure to do anything. I feel like on a Saturday you have to go out, go to places, meet up with people etc. but not Sunday. For most of my school life Sundays were always busy be it going to Sunday school or travelling around Wales playing rugby but I liked it. When I'm home I wake up around 9ish, have breakfast, read the Sunday papers, take Hendrix for a walk, watch a film and then settle down for the evening with some Countryfile - yes I love countryfile everyone! In uni things are a bit different - I usually spend all my days doing work so I don't really have a Sunday in a sense but today myself, Hollie and Ellie went to a local café called Picnic on the Green  and we had some delicious cake and coffee :) Scrumdidlyumptious. I had a red velvet cupcake and a gingerbread latte - a must for autumn.

I've probably written this a million times on this blog but autumn is awesome (despite all the rain and thunder storms). There's this certain smell in the air - it's all crisp and smells of smoke (fire smoke not tobacco smoke!). It's telling you that Christmas is on its way and soon you'll be cwtched up in front of the fire watching Home Alone. Yaaaay.

HELLO THERE AGAIN AMIGOS

Well, it has taken me almost three weeks but yesterday evening I was doing some reading on my bed when I randomly clicked on a wireless network in hope that I'd be able to get some internet at home (ours is coming on Wednesday hopefully, but they said that last week so . . . ) and then it happened. I remembered that I have BT Hotspot which means that I can have internet wherever I am. Typical. So now I can actually write a blog post!

I thought I'd do another little catch up before I commence with normal blogging. Last week was freshers week but it was much more relaxed than freshers first year around. We only went out properly once but we hung out with some friends for most of the week even if we just watched films together. It was just nice to ease ourselves in to the new year and house. This is a picture of when we went out in Windsor - this is the night I lost my iphone. Ta ta iphone.

This week has been quite the busy one with lectures starting, lacrosse training, surf & lacrosse socials, cycling everywhere and I mean everywhere, skateboarding and chasing ice cream vans down the street to grab a Feast before dinner. I can already feel that this year is going to be better than last as I'm doing much more things and meeting so many new people. Also I have discovered how close the nearest big town is from here on the bike - an easy 20 mins so that's tres handy. Myself and Hollie cycled down their last Saturday, grabbed a few things and just before heading back we bought ourselves a cheeky Nandos. 

Right then this was just a little catch up post but most probably tomorrow or later today I'll come back with normal lisi loo posts - it's been to long guys! 

SURFING TAKE TWO //

A year or so ago myself, Carwen & Ruth headed down the coast to surf. We had signed up for a weekend of lessons and spent about 4 hours in the water per day. The thing was that I was very ill - I had the cold to beat all colds and add the issue of my back wwwww, and the quite bad sun burn, it didn't go too great. Despite the fact that I couldn't do much surfing over that weekend I still love surfing and still really want to learn. Luckily then that my uni has a surf club which go on regular trips to Cornwall and abroad where you can learn. In a few weeks the club is heading down to Newquay, Cornwall for the BUCS Surf weekend and it looks pretty awesome - watch competitions, learn to surf and live music. Perfect. 

NO INTERNET IN THE HOUSE!!!!

'Sup. Just a note to say that I have not abandoned you all, it's just that I have no internet in the new house at the moment - it is arriving next Wednesday. So I can only look on the tinterweb and my blog when I'm over at my friends' house our in the library where I am right this second.

This week has been sort of a relaxed week so far. I think we're all appreciating the calmness and the stress-free feeling before second year lectures begin next week. Although, I sorted out my time-table the other day and it looks like I won't have many days in lectures at all but I know we'll have Everest-style-mountains of reading to do when we're at home thus I think I'll be spending most of my time in the library - too many distractions at home!

Myself and Hollie have been trying a few new sports this week as we try and decide which one we'll join. So far we've been to Lacrosse & Basketball sessions and I think lacrosse is going to be the victor. Neither of us had ever played before but we seemed to pick up the just of it quite quickly so that's all good but by no means are we good at it yet! Since last year's back fiasco I can no longer play rugby and it looks like lacrosse is going to take rugby's place in my sporting life. Yay. I'm also going to check out the surf and snow club soon because they do (relatively cheap) trips to the Alps and Portugal etc. and they sound awesome - we'll have to wait and see.

Now I leave you with a little photograph of myself in the library where I should actually be doing some work as I wait for my next seminar :)

SUMMER ADVENTURES // Graduation & the sea

Yesterday Owen was graduating from Aberystwyth University so that's where we made our way just before lunch time. The last few days here in West Wales and the whole of the UK have been ridiculously hot. Like seriously hot and yesterday was not an acceptation. Aberystwyth is right on the coast so it's awesome in the sun but when you have to sit in a packed theatre in high 20 degree heat for two hours then the sun ain't so nice. Owen was one of the first to walk across the stage so the ceremony was fine up to there but then geeeee wizzz why do so many people to History and English (they were graduating together)! The director of Bridget Jones' diary, Sharon Maguire, received the honorary fellowship degree which was cool.

Once the ceremony was over we took a few photographs, spoke to a few people and then made our way a little further down the coast to Tresaith. We had booked a table at a pub called The Ship which had some of the best views you could probably get in the world. We ate in the conservatory which looked right over the beach and the sea. The place was packed with people grabbing drinks after work and holiday makers making the best of the incredible sunshine.

We ate quite late and after taking some photos of the sun set we made our way back home after a very long but enjoyable day :)